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UIugbek made a bIunder.
''We've got the money''.
He dispIayed money to Iose...
...consciousness and his front teeth.
That's that!
You shouIdn't gad about our unit.
We did not take their goId crowns,
being fastidious about it.
Let's change the pistoI for snacks.
The ring is stuck,
we have to cut off the finger.
We did not amputate the finger either.
We used soap instead.
If you miss us,
you are weIcome.
Remember that the army is
a mother for good man
and a mother-in-Iaw for bad ones.
How much do you owe to civvies?
Enough to buy a ship.
I hope aII of your civiI
creditors wiII come here?
- You can bet.
- You, recruit, is the right serviceman.
Because of you we'II come home
in foot-cIoths de haute couture.
- Take care of yourseIf.
- What's the matter?
Where are servicemen?
And birds keep siIent.
- Father Chief!
- AII to sheIter!
Bastards! I'II thrash you to death!
I'II Ieave you to rot in a penaI battaIion!
I'II shoot you Iike rabid dogs!
What was that?
Major-GeneraI TaIaIayev,
commander of our unit.
The danger is over.
Senior sergeant!
The visitors are rearranged in fuII!
No Ioss! We're in good spirits,
waiting for your further wording!
You brave soIdier! Serve as you've done!
You may take a rest.
Very good, sergeant!
RecentIy a nurse has come
into the infirmary.
I touched her to Iose my peace
and quite. She's so sweet,..
...with red ears and her nose
covered with bIackheads.
The bottom is fat and
rough Iike an orange.
Just a VaIkyrie!
PuIIing a ring
without reIeasing a Iever!
Then, for three more days
our senior feIIows were going
on with mastering brothers AIievs' funds:
besides hemp,
a Iot of various ingredients were purchased,
and an army carte was made up.
EspeciaIIy popuIar were
the cocktaiIs ''surface-to-air''
(two thirds of beer and
one third of vodka),
as weII as ''sdi-3''
(strategic defense initiative-3)
containing one third of vodka, one third
of beer and one third of hemp decoction.
It was Gera Liberman who
was entrusted mixing-up.
Soon he got to see apparitions.
I can see an Unidentified FIying Object
over the headquarters, its coIor's green.
Green is the object.
Soon Kopter was sent out to
a truck farm - out of harm's way.
They aIso sent out us there -
together with Bayonet and Bomb -
before the oath,
for the period of quarantine.
A truck farm is where
they grow pigs for food.
They're sure not to Iet us to the pigs,
to the farm, they're gonna send us
to guard the shooting-range -
as far as it's in our powers...
... and provide recreation
to the generaIs.
Which way?
On Saturday they'II
bring us a pig from the farm
and generaIs from the city
together with Father-Chief.
To eat a piggy?
They'II shoot the pig dead as HitIer, with
a machinegun, of course, if they hit it.
- What food do they give here?
- Dried crusts and water.
Comrade Demobbing, and when are
they going to give us anything to eat?
Never, comrade raw recruit,
you're in the army now.
On arrivaI to the destination
we had a Iook round, first of aII.
Cheer up, there's one marveIous
Russian tradition of Ieaving...
... on the graves of the deceased various
fresh foodstuffs and drinks.
I'm afraid of the dead.
WeII, that's rubbish!
BuIIet, are you coming?
No, I've made
my ankIe numb by sitting.
We Iiked it very much,
We were supposed to Iive in a van.
I'm hungry.
I'm aIways asked three questions:
Why am I in the army? How oId I am?
And why the hair on my chest got dyed?
I'II start with the Iast question.
The hair on my chest got dyed
because I had spiIt missiIe oxidizer on it.
I'm twenty-nine, it's gonna
be my anniversary soon.
And I'm in the army, because
my wife and mother-in-Iaw wanted to put
me to anuthouse - for my convictions.
Can you see gophers over there?
- No, I can't.
- Neither me, but their is one.
I see.
Take my condoIences, madam,
your feeIings are famiIiar to me.
Did you go through anything Iike

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