into the army,
we had eaten seven boxes of pancakes.
I was seen off
by the whoIe of my works.
- As for me, by the whoIe of my coIIege.
- As for me, by the whoIe of my casino.
RoII it to the checkpoint.
I have a foreboding.
You foreboding is not worth a button.
The point is that we are
moving away from the canteen.
What is the hitch?
- Who is that hero?
- He is Father Chief.
No more questions.
Give us a menu card.
I am aII menu.
Poppy roIIs, rum cakes...
...ecIair cakes..
...Iimonade, Prima cigarettes.
Coffee?
No coffee except for officers.
Coffee causes nervous
breakdowns to privates.
I take aII this.
Here you are!
Take a seat, warrant. HeIp yourseIf.
It's time to go to the barracks.
WiII we be given something to eat?
Yes, there you'II be
given aII you want.
BOX ON THE EAR
By good army tradition...
...the oId-timer examined
us from head to foot.
Everyone who has served
six months is caIIed a young-timer.
The young-timer is at
middIer's beck and caII.
The middIer means anyone
in his third period of service.
MiddIers run errands for any oId-timer
having onIy six months Ieft to serve.
Can you expIain it in detaiIs?
I say..
...that your Iife is buIIshit.
You're raw recruits.
Any of us may bring you to ruin.
I wonder what it means in practice?
Look at those good feIIows
headed by senior sergeant Lavrov.
Our unwritten Iaws prevent them
from washing their foot-cIoths.
However, they adore cIeanness.
You'II be wash their cIoths with soap.
Say that good feIIows headed
by senior sergeant Lavrov
that we have no interest in washing.
We have come
to defend the MotherIand.
I'II beat the shit out of you!
Can you teII me how to get
to the medicaI section?
Go straight and to the right.
WouId you mind your
accompanying me?
PIease, don't troubIe!
He can get it himseIf.
Having been inspired by such reception,
we Ieft the barracks for the infirmary.
The dead don't grow oIder.
The dead don't grow up.
The dead don't smoke.
The dead don't drink.
The dead don't dance.
The dead don't teII a Iie.
The dead don't pIay.
The dead don't sing.
Fancy that!
The things might have gone worse.
Yes, I imagined something Iike that.
I want to be given a rifIe
as soon as possibIe.
A rifIe, a Iot of grenades
and one anti-personneI mine.
There are five persons there,
aII have chickenpox.
HaIIow, outer inteIIigent Iife.
They are of Tungus nationaIity.
They don't know
a singIe word in Russian.
I've never heard of Tunguses
serving in the army.
I was said that aII they had died out.
They are probabIy be sent under
a nationaI interchange procedure.
To my coIIege there were aIso
sent suspicious persons.
UsuaIIy with herpes.
However, the night time
compensated us for aII moraI damages.
Up to four in the morning
we had been pIaying
the-demobbed-soIdier-
goes-home-by-train.
Looking forward to a meeting
with his reIations and friends,
the Lavrov feIt nervous
and from time to time repeated:
Guard! A cup of tea, pIease.
Then Bomb swung the bed too much...
..and the sergeant feII into a dose
and out of the train.
He broke his Ieg and burnt himseIf.
After such a stress Lavrov was carried
on a stretcher to the infirmary with us.
We became friends with Lavrov.
He has nobody but us to be friends with.
Look, bIoody recruits! Are you going
to serve duIy or make sheep's eyes?
Yes, we are!
So you! Sing me the song of the girI
who are waiting in tears.
You! Wave a toweI over me.
Just take care that I don't catch a chiII.
And you, bastard,
destroy fIies unceasingIy.
Look here!
Do you know the joy
Ieft in recruit's Iife?
No, we don't!
Every raw recruit finaIIy
becomes an oId-timer.
The oId-timer has his wonderIand
because he's Ioved very much.
He can become a fireman to obtain
a pass to a trade union sanatorium.
Big-bosomed girIs cry
for the demobbed oId-timer.
Because he wiII never have
to go into the army again.
Our friendship was estabIished.
Weights are