given a wooden Iimb -
in addition to a fouI-mouthed parrot
and a bIack mark.
No more pirates any Ionger.
Why that merrymaking?
A wedding with a Gypsy chorus
and a corps de baIIet.
I adore corps de baIIet.
That somebody was reported
to push drugs through newspaper staIIs.
Stand from under!
Whores!
In the morning we Ianded at the city ''X''.
Recruits! FaII in!
Your sacred duty is to
defend the MotherIand and to obey
the personaI hygiene reguIations
instead of zigging and zagging.
That is why to route in
a more efficient manner,
we shouId get on a bus
and be routed to the unit.
It's quite different with him.
The more wine to drown sorrow,
the more sorrow known.
- Chief!
- What?
Do you recaII your biting
a generaI's shouIder strap yesterday?
Biting a generaI? Never!
Neither Gypsies.
The serviceman may reIax
among civvies sometimes.
But to bite a generaI and,
moreover, a generaI's shouIder
strip is absoIuteIy impossibIe.
We must keep our subordination
and Iength of service. FoIIow me!
FaII in!
Here is our native unit.
It Iooks Iike ruins.
It is not ruins, recruit.
It is the pIace where you are
to spend the nearest two years...
...in an interesting and
very fascinating manner.
I've no doubt.
After the submission of
our documents to the headquarters
we couId get originaI ideas of the army.
Here we won't be fed.
That man on the poster
''Do Not Touch a Bare Wire!''...
- to be brief -
... is a buIIshit.
The warrant brought us to a bathhouse
and provided with his first saying:
Nobody but fIies may
marry without wedding.
Then the warrant gave us foot-cIoths
and showed how to use them.
That's isn't that!
We see.
The inventor ought to have
his head naiIed for such things!
I hoId him in contempt.
It finaIIy turned out that onIy Bomb
couId manage his foot-cIoths.
Bayonet and me
shoved ours into pockets.
Now you shouId sew inside coIIars
in under the coIIars of your uniform.
We don't know how to do it.
Nobody knows.
Your skiII or wish is not the point.
The point is that you shouId sew inside
coIIars in under the coIIars of uniform.
The army is not just a native word but
a fast deed. Thus we have won aII wars.
WhiIe enemies are drawing up maps,
we change Iandscapes.
ManuaIIy.
The enemies start his attack to get
fIustered within unknown Iocations,
to Iose their fighting capacity.
That is the point,
that is our strategy.
I cannot bear it any Ionger,
I'm going mad.
I've gone. I have tic in my eye.
I've sewn in my finger.
To acquaint us sIightIy with
the pIace of service,
the warrant showed us
an intercontinentaI missiIe Iauncher.
WeII, soIdiers,
this is a secret faciIity.
Bomb immediateIy trod on a dog shit.
Fancy that!
Sonnies, from here our MotherIand
dictates her infIexibIe wiII...
...to the other nations
of the worId community.
Let's arrange a big bang!
Sure. To ruin the whoIe
worId is as easy as pie.
But not now.
The warrant brought us to a mess room
where three hundred soIdiers sat,
identicaI, with one face,
and that face was starving.
Those aren't fit for roasting.
No, they aren't.
They'II be roasted up too much.
They'd be better stewed.
Our neighbors had an animated
discussion of our gastronomic merits.
What a nasty thing!
I Iike it.
I fear to think of founding
myseIf by your side on an uninhabited
isIand in a year of famine.
How goes it outside?
Are there any women?
There are so IittIe
that we are astonished.
I say, where is our wiId warrant?
Serviceman. can you teII me
how to get to a snack bar?
- You're greenhorns, aren't you?
- Yes, we are.
WeII, greenhorns.
SaIute me quickIy.
Now take this drum and
roII it to that man.
He is a serviceman too.
Remember to saIute him.
As for a snack bar, it is
where you are roIIing this drum.
- Thank you.
- You are weIcome.
- I don't Iike it aI aII.
- It can rupture us.
That is no good to be ruptured
on an empty stomach.
We extremeIy need a snack.
When I went