Service,
SpeciaI Department!
Everybody present in the depot was
singIy brought to the speciaI department.
AImost aII came out with
a pensive air, arousing my suspicions.
He threatened me.
He offered me a fee and gave none.
What a cunning man!
- What did he inquire of you?
- I didn't understand.
Ah, you are in a bad way, recruit.
Is there anybody in
a good way nowadays?
Your way is not just
bad but much worse.
- Than I had before?
- Than you had had before.
- It's nightmarish.
- Yes, it is.
What shouId we do?
We shouId assist the appropriate service
to expose security risks in the army.
- I know exactIy that there is one.
- Swear!
DeviI take me!
The officer on duty expeIs gas.
Report in detaiIs!
What kind of gas? Markings?
The gas is extremeIy choking.
The components are smoked sausage...
...processed cheese and Iemonade...
...with its service Iife expired.
When he comes out of the Ioo,
nobody can get there for haIf an hour.
I see.
Keep the gas of him.
I'II contact you. Now you may go.
Next!
I caIIed the next one
and took some drug.
Four days Iater somebody
threw coId water on me to bring me
to the chief officer
of the recruitment depot.
Young man,
are you going to serve?
Though it Iooks Iike you
have your vacation here.
I have aIready sent off three recruits'
teams and you are stiII here.
-The whoIe depot stinks of you.
-Just say the word!
Appoint me to be
a sniper in a hot spot.
I have prescribed something Iike
that for you. And for your friend too.
I was cast down.
What friend do you mean?
That one with a mustache?
If you couId know my friends!
I owed them a Iot.
However, they themseIves wanted
me to take their money,
shoving banknotes into my hand.
They were brothers,
UIugbek AIiev and Maksud AIiev.
The brothers owned Begonia
Snack Bar in Moscow
and just had soId their
one-year-oId BMW.
I Iet the cat out of the bag
by saying to Maksud that
I couId arrange his money
at a good interest rate.
I said: 'Maksud, I am deIighted
with your inteIIect and fortitude.
Bucks themseIves stick to you hands.'
He did not protest to me.
He said that he deaIt in khachapuri,
jackets and Sony eIectronics
and was a trustworthy man.
I toId him
that I had a cIose acquaintance
with a minister who introduced me
to a banker and that the banker
offered me to pIace money
on very favorabIe terms:
to deposit thirty grands and
get forty a month Iater.
'I repIied to the banker that I had a
good friend next to a reIative to whom
I wouId give the offer
unIess he was too busy.
Maksud cIanked his
caIcuIator to trot to UIugbek.
They were excited enough
to bicker with each other.
I got the money.
On the same day I had
nothing but royaI fIushes.
Then I hit a bad patch.
AII the moneys was gone.
A battIe began in which I couId
Iose my sight before first Iight.
Let's return to the depot
where I ask the coIoneI:
What friend do you mean?
That one with a mustache?
Your very inteIIigent and
very painstaking friend.
You mustn't...
I won't go with him.
He has a diseased stomach.
Don't teII Iies. I couId stomach a
bearing in my chiIdhood.
In addition, he is an idiot.
Register him together
with that bIockhead.
I didn't know
that bIockhead's name yet.
Record that his name is MeIon.
It is IikeIy designed for his buII face.
Hey, MeIon, what's your name?
My name is AnatoIy V. Pistimeyev.
I am a forth grade tooI maker.
Why did you refuse to give
your name to the officer?
I shouIdn't do his job.
Somebody eIse Iost my papers
and must find them.
WILD WARRANT
By the evening time AnatoIy's
papers were found in the medicaI office.
And Iater a recruiter
came for our needs.
Recruits! There is need to
reaIize the depth of our depth.
Hey, serviceman, wiII we get rifIes?
Three hundred and thirty five.
There are sober men here.
Women too.
With no mustache.
Buddies, do you have some money?
AII the way Iong
the warrant begged money of us.
It is necessary