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out of their financial bind
by usin' our money.
- I hope I can remember everything.
- Good luck.
That's very kind of you.
That's our boy, baby!
That's our boy there!
What do you say
about that, folks?
That Eastern boy's got a little bit
of cowboy in him, wouldn't you say?
He sure does.
You ol' sly bones.
- Where'd you get him?
- We'll see.
Folks, next up
from the Doerin unit...
five-time winner and current champion,
Caesar Geronimo, a Chicago boy.
Got hisself caught sellin' some
white powder down at the border.
When I say white powder,
I don't mean talcum powder.
The champion has drawn
a horse so rough and tough...
that it's already put
11 cowboys in the hospital.
And that's just by
breakin' wind on 'em.
All right!
That cowboy must've had
some real strong glue in the saddle!
Ladies and gentlemen,
that man of mischief from Oklahoma...
who was last year's runner-up,
Is gettin' set in chute number five.
Ringo Stapleton!
You may recall, old Ringo
Is the fella doin' 99 years...
for kidnappin' a trainload
of gorgeous college girls...
on their way to a beauty contest
In Las Vegas.
Here comes old Ringo
on the bull called Nicotine, and...
Ringo's in trouble already.
He's down.
The bill's on fop of him!
Our next contestant
is Plucky Stillwater.
Third up in the bull riding event,
coming out of chute number four...
Is the Glenboro Prison entry.
If's that city slicker again...
who's been givin' the defendin' champ
a real run for his money.
We're gonna all find out
In a couple of seconds...
whether if's just beginner's luck, or
If this boy's got some redneck in him.
Up on Flapjack...
here's Skip Donahue.
Okay. A little tighter.
That's it.
Remember, ease up with him.
Watch his head.
- Ready?
- Okay. Let's go.
Open the gate!
Seem to have ourselves
a little problem down here, folks.
He'll be killed in there!
Some son-of-a-bitch
put a lock on the gate!
That New Yorker
Is full of surprises!
Now here's last year's champion,
Caesar Geronimo...
riding a bull that nobody has been able
to stay on for more than three seconds.
A bull by the name of Tornado.
That was a great ride. Now you know
why he's our defending champion.
Folks, catch your breath
for a few minutes...
while the cowboy judges tally up
the scores on the contestants.
You've got time for
a pause for the cause...
and I'll be back in just a little bit
to announce the winner.
Hold on, folks.
We got ourselves the first push...
In the history
of the prison rodeo.
Push, my ass.
There ain't gonna be any push.
I was ready for this.
Ladles and gentlemen,
hold on to your hats.
As a tiebreaker,
both of the wardens...
have just given their permission
to run the 'hard money' event.
That's the single most dangerous event
In all of rodeo competition.
All you have to do
to win the hard money event...
Is fetch
a little sack of money...
between the horns
of a mean brahma bull.
So just as soon
as our two boys get ready...
we're gonna start
our final competition.
Are you ready for the main event?
Well, just listen to this, because
Warden Beatty has just informed me...
that he and Warden Sampson
have so much faith in their boys...
that this year, instead of splitting
the first in the rodeo as usual...
It's gonna be
a winner-take-all event!
I'm sayin' that $50,000 in bills
Is gonna be fled...
between the horns of one of the most
vicious bills in this territory.
And whichever inmate
grabs the money is the winner.
And here they are,
ladies and gentlemen.
I get a little nervous sometimes
before these things.
By the way, the word is that your warden
is an exceptionally sweet man.
- Is that true?
- He's a prick!
A prick?
Boy, did I hear that wrong.
Well, is it true
that you're an ass-kisser?
- You're gonna get a punch in the mouth!
- Did I say it?
I'm just telling you what I heard.
What are you so touchy about?
I'm an ass-kisser too.


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