Illinois' most elegant establishment for entertainment, erotica and ecdysia. Now, four young women currently studying medicine... ...and paleontology at Northwestern University. Tia, Sandrah, Devon and Carla. Here they are, The Roommates! The band, the girls and I, want to do a song for you. A little Mack Rice cover. You married men... ...better stay tied up, because it's cheaper to keep her. "It's cheaper to keep her "It's cheaper to keep her "When your little girl makes you mad "You get an attitude and pack your bag "Five little children that you're leaving behind "You're gonna pay some alimony or do some time "It's cheaper to keep her "Too much to leave that little girl "It's cheaper, it's cheaper "If you decide to roam "And leave your happy home "You got to pay the house note "The child support, your insurance "Alimony, mortgage one, mortgage two "It's cheaper to keep her" What was that? Strong-arm shit. Protection payment. You know. This time it's Russians. But if I pay them, they leave me alone. That's not right. No shit. If I could only figure out what Elwood's game is. Why did he come to see you? To borrow $500 and ask me to join his band. Well, he got his $500. What instrument do you play? How about a big hand for our gorgeous, professional lady dancers? Where's Willie? Visiting his ailing stepfather. Why? The Russians are here to see him. I'll handle it. Where's Buster? In the office, sleeping. Good evening, gentlemen. Mr. Hall has been unavoidably detained. He may be a trifle late. May I buy you a drink? Mack. Got a minute? Don't forget our deal now, Elwood. You can stop worrying. Those Russians won't be back. Those guys are bad mothers, Elwood. Serious shit. They kill people. They kill people? Try to understand. Those goons are orphan remnants of the post-perestroika Soviet secret police... ...who twisted the well-intentioned, original Marxist-Leninist doctrine... ...using state security, which was corrupted by Beria in the '30s. Once a mass populace is coerced into such behavior... ...a radical shift, like glasnost, produces guys like... ...headless automata who continue the brutish measures... ...to which their genes were programmed since the fall of the Romanovs. That's great. I feel much better. "Stay away from Willie's. Signed, the Masked Avenger." Now, a very special treat, our own... ...bartender, Mack McTeer, will perform for you tonight. Now, come on. Elwood. What are you doing? I'm sorry. I promised the guy. It'll never happen again. "I'm all alone and fancy-free "But that ain't the way I want to be "Now girls, get your game up tight "We're gonna have a wing-ding-doodle tonight "For right now I'm lookin' for a fox "I'm lookin' for a fox "Tonight the sky's the limit "I got some money and I'm gonna spend it "It's Saturday night and I wanna play "I'm gonna groove till the break of day "I'm lookin' for a fox "Not a brand new pinstripe suit of clothes "Big wide polka-dot tie "Cuff links as big as jaybird eggs and look at that "Shoes made out of alligator hide "Wanna see somethin' else here? "I'm ripe and ready and I'm hot to trot - "Boy, you on fire - "You know you can get anything I got - "Two take for two - "I got the money if you got the time - "We open all night - "All you gotta do is give me a sign "I'm lookin' for a fox" Mack, you know something? You can sing, man. Everyone please leave now! - Where's Buster? - I don't know. Gas!
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