doggies,
back in your house.
Back in your house.
Here, doggie, nice doggie.
No, doggie.
Don't jump.
Bad dog!
Good puppy!
Bad puppy, don't jump!
Good puppy, don't jump!
Come back!
Stop the van!
Harv, what is it?
Why did you want me to stop?
Hurry, they're gettin' away.
Hey, you, come back here!
Come here!
I'll give you a bone!
Come back here,
you little runt!
Come here, you!
7:00 a.m.
Up and at 'em!
Ted, I'm sorry.
Mmm. What's wrong?
Did you have another nightmare?
Yeah.
Mom, it's Saturday and it's 7:02.
Do we really have to get up?
Yep, you heard
your father.
I know, Daddy's rules.
That's it! I'm not
gonna take it anymore.
Mom, I have a news flash.
It's Saturday!
- Yeah, I know, honey.
- This sucks!
Why do we have to get up
so early on a Saturday?
Ask your father.
Don't say "sucks."
The bathroom's mine!
- Nanny, nanny!
- Shut up! Let me in.
Open up, you little wimp!
Let me in!
- Mom! Let me in!
- You have no bladder control.
Wait 'til I get my hands on you.
Let me in!
A puppy!
Hi!
Guys, do you have to...
I dreamt I had a puppy,
and it came true!
Honey.
I take back everything I said
about you being cold and insensitive.
Dad...
I take back anything
I said too.
Dad, I have everything
I ever wanted.
- I owe you big time.
- Why?
Daddy, can we
call him Fred?
- Let me have him. It's my turn.
- No, it's my turn!
- I saw him first!
- I'm gonna have him for 5 more minutes.
We can't have a dog.
We can't have a dog!
You can't show a child a puppy,
then take it away two minutes later.
I didn't show a child a puppy.
It's obviously lost.
- Occupy the kids. I'll run to the pound.
- No, no way!
- It'll be destroyed.
- If we keep it, the house will be!
- Millions of people have dogs.
- Not people like me.
Dogs sniff.
They lick, chew.
They drool, scratch...
- Alice, they have parasites.
- Oh, God, yeah.
The kids'll lose interest.
It'll grow to be enormous.
It'll take over the yard.
When the dog finally
settles down, it'll die.
Everybody will be upset. We'll have
to get another puppy and start all over.
- Do you understand?
- No. Could you be more specific?
- Alice, I need a little support.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
All right.
How shall we handle this?
Go tell the kids.
- Come on.
- Come over here.
He loves me the most.
- Hi, kids.
- Hi, Dad.
- Can he sleep in my room?
- No, in my room.
- He's sleeping in my room.
- He's not sleeping in anyone's room.
Listen to me a minute.
We are people people here.
We are goldfish people.
We're ant farm people.
We're not dog people.
Dad, why can't you
just give us a chance?
You're always saying
we have to have responsibility.
That's true.
It's my decision.
I mean, I've decided.
I knew it!
Think of something
to name him.
When he destroys my house,
I wanna know what to call him!
- Thank you.
- This is temporary.
This is temporary
until we find the owner.
Okay, the dog's name
will be...
What is it?
- What's his name gonna be?
- You can't change it. That's the rules.
Okay. Emily?
Did you do your name
in a crayon?
Well, I don't think words
for parts of the body make good names.
But he's got one of those.
I looked.
I'm sure he does,
but I don't think Daddy...
wants to stand on the front porch
at night yelling that out.
But that's what
you call Uncle Richard.
Okay, the dog's
name will be...
You asked for my input.
- What?
- Nothing. Let's just call him Rover.
- Mom, please, M.C. Hammer.
- Ultimate Warrior.
M.C. Hammer?
No, no, Rover.
He doesn't like
any of those names.
- Right! Like you can read his mind!
- Ryce!
Emily, what does the dog
want his name to be?
This is ridiculous! It's a dog.
He doesn't have preferences!
- Call him Ding Dong. He wouldn't know.
- Yes, he would!
He'll tell us what
he wants to be called.
Beethoven.
Roll over.
Come on, boy. Roll over.
You!
No, no, no!
If this business is gonna
grow, we need more money.
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