stopped eating for height and started eating for pure girth. Give me the seven-eighths, would ya? Oh, thanks. You know, I think I'm gonna save a lot of money on lubrication with you around here. Three, two, one... Right on cue. That, Beethoven, is the number one moneymaker in this town... the speed trap on Quicksilver Drive. Out-of-towners think they can just blast through here at any speed. Then they meet the sheriff. Nine times out of 10, some yokel's at the wheel. He'll think he can handle her just 'cause she's a woman. Perfect. She's a chick. - License and registration. - Darlin', what did I do wrong? It's Sheriff Dempsey. License. Well, you gotta hope that he doesn't start out by calling her "honey. " Honey, we can work this out. Sweet thing like you. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Yes! It's a takedown! Oh, yeah! Oh! Don't you scratch an itch until I tell you to. Yes, sir. Ma'am! I mean, ma'am! Ow... No, Beethoven, you do not want to mess with the sheriff. See that right there? That's her Dad. The Equalizer! Yes, he was the greatest wrestler to ever mash a face into the mat. The Equalizer! Uncle Freddy? What are you doing? Just a little wrestling talk between the guys. Me and Beethoven. You know, sports fans. So, what's up? Me and Beethoven wanted to go check out some stores nearby. Good, fine. Well, have fun. And behave yourself. - We will. - So long, Beethoven. Come on, Beethoven. Come on, Beethoven. Let's check this place out. It looks friendly. Get that bigfoot out of here. I'm sorry. Come on, boy. Come on. Oh, did that big elephant scare you, Baby Cakes? You stay here, okay? I won't be long. Come back here, Baby Cakes! Listen to Mommy. You know, little girl, this is a locals store. And you're no local. What are you doing in Quicksilver? I'm visiting my Uncle Freddy. Freddy Kablinski? The grease monkey. He's a mechanic... a certified mechanic. Ooh. Do you have any samples? What does this look like, Saks Fifth Avenue? Look. I've got surveillance cameras all over this place. So don't even think about stuffing your pockets. I guess I can charge you the local price... 7.41. What do you think, I was born yesterday? What? Oh, I see. The big city folk are coming to Quicksilver to make the local yokels look silly, right? This is phony. Counterfeit. - Funny money. - Really. I didn't know. Didn't know? Hmm. Everyone knows that Hamilton is on the 10s and Andrew Jackson is on the 20s. There it is. Andrew Jackson, clear as day. Issued in 1920. Um, I'm sorry! I better be going now! I'll bring back real money. Bye! 1920? Hmm. Come on, boy. Let's get out of here. So, you say Alexander Hamilton is supposed to be on the 10, huh? Uh-huh. And Andrew Jackson's on the 20. Hmm. Well, we'll see about that. Oh, I guess you have to have money before you can spot counterfeit bills. We better go to the bank. Wait. Here you go. Oh. Thank you, Mr. Gates. I won it from Mr. Dobson. You know, it pains me to admit that Evie Kling might be right about anything, but guess what. She is right. It was so humiliating. We should just turn this into the sheriff. I say... ignore law enforcement. Let's keep it. Yeah. No. No, we'd better go to the sheriff. As long as Beethoven doesn't get in trouble for passing funny money. Oh, I don't think they have room for him in the big house. Come on. Let's go. Central, this is... Hey, Jim, is the sheriff in? She's right there. Thanks, pal. - Oh, hey. - Oh, hey, Freddy. - This must be your niece, the counterfeiter. - I didn't know. Honest. - Sara, this is Sheriff Dempsey. - Call meJulie. - Hey, hey. Who's the thief? Beethoven! Partners in crime, huh? Sorry. He's kind of a bottomless pit. You can relax, Sara. You were paying with real money. But look. I know. Looks strange. But come here. Come here. Check this out. I did a little Web surfing. You see? There were AndrewJackson $ 10 bills.
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