the other.
There we go. Steady up.
Don't stand there, for heaven's sake!
Get the pot roast away from him!
He'll break out in hives!
[Melancholic instrumental music]
[Moaning]
Michelangelo...
...I was having a bad dream.
Did I wake you?
Want to come sleep with me?
Come on.
Okay!
Let's see who's done their homework.
How about my obstacle course buddy?
Drop the leash, son.
I don't think that's such a good idea, sir.
Last week, due to...
...circumstances beyond my control...
...I was unable to tell you
all the commands...
...you will be learning in this class.
Commands such as...
...sit.
Down.
Come.
And of course...
...heel.
Therefore,
in order to test your dog's skills...
...my wife, Florence Rutledge,
has lovingly designed...
...the obstacle course...
...which represents real-life situations...
...you and your canine
might actually encounter...
...in real life.
The tunnel...
...one of the more difficult trials
in which only one in 100...
...untrained dogs
can successfully negotiate.
The A-frame, perhaps...
...a dangerous sand dune at the beach.
On a busy summer day.
Kids screaming everywhere.
Can you trust your canine
not to bolt into the crowd...
...and make off with a 3-year-old kid
for lunch?
The double-jump, perhaps...
...your neighbor's hedge.
Over which your dog might have to hurtle
to save you from a...
...black cat.
It's happened before. The teeter.
A lot like, well,
I'm not sure about that one.
Florence likes teeters, so she put it in.
And of course, the suspended foam donut.
Impossible for amateurs to negotiate
without proper training.
Don't even try it.
Yes, people,
it's not going to happen overnight.
But with a lot of hard work and patience...
...even a dog who's two bones short
of a stew...
...will learn to obey.
And...
...before this class is over...
...big guy...
...you will be trained so well...
...that you will execute
each and every obstacle...
...as if it were a walk in the park.
I promise you that.
Dismissed!
ANNOUNCER: Your attention please
to the podium. Thank you.
MARTHA: Ladies...
...you were invited here today...
...because you've been at the forefront
in your concern for the environment...
...and your willingness to embrace
new methods of conservation.
The idea of drinking toilet water
is a new one to be sure.
But it's the wave of the future!
Come on, ladies, don't be shy.
Bottoms up, so to speak.
MADISON: Stop!
Stop!
Michelangelo, what are you doing?
Stop it, heel!
What are you doing?
[Screaming]
MADISON: Heel!
Michelangelo, stop!
Oh, no.
No!
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
Come here, madam, you're all wet!
Michelangelo, stay! Heel!
Crikey!
My God!
He's having an anxiety attack!
Come here, got you.
That went well, didn't it? ldiot.
[Barks]
Shut up, haven't you done enough?
Come on.
MARTHA: You have no idea
how traumatic it was, Doctor.
The deeply buried feelings
that dredged up--
[Gasps]
I just had a flash.
Do you think I had issues
with potty training when I was a child?
Mrs. Sedgwick, would you please sit up?
This is Michelangelo's appointment.
Of course.
I see there's a lot of hostility today.
MARTHA: That's just it, Doctor.
All that hostility, all that acting out.
It's all so sudden.
Where is it coming from?
-Do you want to know what I think?
-Of course.
I think Michelangelo
is reacting to a lack of affection.
Well, that's ridiculous.
I'm fairly sure
my daughter gives him affection.
-You're "fairly sure"?
-Well, I've seen them together.
Do you give Michelangelo affection?
Physical affection.
-I try to give him his space.
-What about your daughter?
-Well, I told you, I'm fairly sure--
-No, no.
I mean,