and big and strong.
You know what you should do? You--
Just the premium wash and wax.
No air freshener.
Is perfume, not "air freshener."
I'm sorry. I get defensive.
It's my own formula.
I call it CK9.
Get it? "K9"?
I get it for you.
You smell yourself. Hold a minute.
[Gasps]
Don't make a sound.
-Give me the leash.
-My word. Is this a robbery?
Yeah, that's right.
Come on, pooch.
GUILLERMO: Okay, I have two-- Mon Dieu!
Simmons, what has happened to you?
That rotten scoundrel,
he's stolen Michelangelo.
GUILLERMO: Michelangelo!
GUILLERMO: Run!
ROBBER: No, come back! No! Come back!
Come back, you stupid, come here!
I'll bet you this is part of the problem.
His collar's too tight.
BRENNAN: No, really?
MAN: Mustard and onions with relish,
mustard and onions....
BRENNAN: Beethoven!
SARA: Come back, Beethoven!
Stop, dog, stop!
BRENNAN: Beethoven!
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
Get back here.
My goodness!
SARA: Come back! Come back!
BRENNAN: Beethoven!
Where'd he go?
SARA: Wait!
SIMMONS: What's this?
You idiot.
SARA: Come back! Come back!
BRENNAN: Beethoven!
[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]
[People screaming]
Michelangelo!
SIMMONS: Michelangelo, stop!
Michelangelo!
Stop that!
Give up those links, boy.
Your cholesterol will go through the roof.
What has got into you?
You're being a very naughty boy.
Come along.
Michelangelo, when I get you home,
you are grounded.
SARA: Beethoven!
BRENNAN: He's got to be here somewhere.
SARA: Beethoven, where are you?
[Fairground-style instrumental music]
Beethoven!
BRENNAN: Come on, boy.
Beethoven, don't you ever do that again.
[Simmons groans]
SIMMONS: Michelangelo,
that was a stinker.
Egads.
Michelangelo!
Smelly!
I told you not to eat those hot dogs.
Now you smell like beef byproducts.
Appetizer, sir?
Vittles?
Come along. Come along.
Hello? Michelangelo. Michelangelo!
Are you daydreaming? Come along.
Goodness me.
What's gotten into you?
You're not yourself at all.
Come along.
You can just sit there
and use this 15 minutes time-out...
...to think about how
utterly reprehensible...
...your behavior was today.
I'm going to go upstairs,
change my trousers...
...get this doggy grease off me.
Beefy breath!
And I'm canceling your massage.
No! Not on the floor!
[Screaming]
Come on, Beethoven.
-Did you see what he just did?
-No.
SARA: Looks great, Dad.
RICHARD: Thank you, sweetheart.
No, you don't.
BRENNAN: He just picked up my napkin.
SARA: I told you he was smart.
He folded your napkin.
That's beyond smart.
BRENNAN: It's weird.
BETH: You know what's really weird?
I don't think he's drooling anymore.
That's weird.
[Electronic beeping]
Is it Thanksgiving?
MARTHA: Of course not, Maddy. Why?
Because we're all eating together.
Maddy, that's a good one.
But, you know, I think inappropriate.
Say you're sorry, honey.
Sorry, Mom.
MARTHA: I thought it would be nice for us
to have a typical Sedgefood family meal.
Reg, did I tell you
that fur company we picketed closed?
REG: I know. We owned it.
MARTHA: How could we?
It's against everything we believe in.
We just acquired it a few years ago.
I could have had free furs all this time,
and you never told me?
-Martha, you're against fur.
-Yeah, now, but I didn't used to be!
SIMMONS: De-fatted, unsalted,
cholesterol-free...
..anic porcine pot roast.
Was it free-range?
It was a pig, ma'am.
I'm not sure how far they'd go
if they were given free range.
Maybe the semolina,
faux meat patty, Simmons.
SIMMONS: As you wish, ma'am.
Sorry.
Michelangelo, would you be so kind
as to get that napkin?
Michelangelo. Michelangelo, no.
Get back! Get back!
[Screams]
Simmons!
That wasn't the bell, was it?
My God. That's going to leave a mark.
Okay.
One foot in front of

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