in the hell is that?
Well, Bill,
I was thinking.
All our cards
are for people, right?
From people
and to people.
Well, they're the ones
who buy them.
But what about the people
who... don't have anyone...
to send a card to?
I'm listening.
Well, you're missing
a whole segment of the public.
People who don't have anyone
to send a card to...
and people who don't have
anyone to get a card from.
- Right!
- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh!
- Uh-huh.
So Richard was thinking...
I was thinking...
those people
don't have people.
But they do have animals.
Pets!
This is the first
in a line of cards...
that people
can send themselves...
from their pets!
"Dear Master,
I painted you
a birthday card,
and it's a real
dead ringer,
but it's awful hard to paint
'cause I don't have thumbs or fingers. "
Hmm? Hmm.
Okay, I love it!
He loves it!
- He loves it!
- He loves it?
Welcome to the Good Boy
Dog Obedience School,
where there is no such thing...
no... as a bad dog.
Only stubborn ones.
When you and your precious
pooches leave this class,
you will leave side by side...
you, the master,; your dog,
your faithful servant...
without leashes.
I expect every dog
to pay attention.
Are you a hard case, boy?
Is he a hard case?
I... I don't know.
I've been training the canine
species for 27 years, son.
I think I know an attitude
problem when I see one.
This is how we handle
the hard case, people.
Pay attention.
Or, you know, you can have cards
pets could send to each other.
You know, like a dog could send
a cat a get-well-soon card.
- Or love letters for rabbits.
- Yeah!
Happy Groundhog's Day
cards, Bill.
Maybe I'm getting
ahead of myself.
Okay, that's brilliant. We need
to have our lawyers talk on Monday.
We got a percentage deal
to work out.
Ciao, baby!
Ciao.
Yes! Ha!
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah.
Hoo! A-hoo!
- Say my name, say my name, say my name!
- Richard!
- Mwah!
- That's a step in the right direction.
And the amazing thing is,
I owe it all to Beethoven.
This is an obstacle course.
When I'm finished
with your dogs,
they will be able to negotiate
this course automatically!
It may seem difficult at first,
but don't give up.
You are the master.
Your dog must obey.
Over!
This is one of the commands
that you will be learning.
Our friend here
just doesn't know it yet.
Not too smart, are you, pal?
- Okay, pal, I guess we're going to do this the hard way.
- Go! Go on, Beethoven!
Students, one last thing:;
Never let go of the leash.
Over!
Now, what we have...
Whoa! Yo!
Oh! Oh!
Wait, wait, wait!
- ## Well, everybody thinks I'm just a little out of place ##
- Stop, stop!
Wait!
- Stop! Stay, stay!
- ##I'm trying hard to fit in but it'll be okay ##
- ## Once you train me ##
- Heel! Roll over! Fetch!
- No! Come back!
- ##Show me all your moves ##
- Oh... no!
- ##I'll show you who's walkin' who ##
## Come, stay, speak, sit ##
- ##New dog, old tricks ##
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!
##No more fleas, no more ticks ##
## Chasing balls
and fetching sticks ##
##I'm your new best friend ##
##New dog, old tricks ##
- ## Caviar-flavored biscuits ##
- No. Wait. No.
##I never had it good as this ##
##I'm a new dog, old tricks ##
- ##Hey, if you think
you're gonna get me ##
- ## To heel for you, don't bother ##
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- ## You'll be slippin'and slidin' and swimmin'knee deep ##
- Ow!
- ##In slobber ##
- Whoa!
## There's a new pooch
on the block ##
- ##I'll show you who'll be top dog ##
- Whoa-oa-oa-oa!
##Eat, sleep, bark, sit ##
##New dog, old tricks ##
##No more fleas
No more ticks ##
## Chasing balls
and fetching sticks ##
##I'm your new best friend ##
##New dog, old tricks ##
## Caviar-flavored biscuits ##
##Never had it good as this ##
##I'm a new dog
Old tricks ####
This means war.
Reg, can you just put
that thing away for once?
- Just e-mailing ahead to make
sure the pro's ready. - Dad!
Oh,