Come on.
[Flatulence sounds]
-It wasn't me. It was the whoopie.
-Phone.
[Clock ticking]
[Phone rings, all gasp]
Hello?
Hello?
Speak clearly.
-Ransom note.
-The puppy, you twit!
NIGEL: I have your dog.
Put 250,000 in a plain paper bag...
...behind the statue in Civic Center Park.
No police.
You have till 4:00 "pumm" today.
PM, you twit!
NIGEL: 4:00 p.m., you twit.
250,000 what?
-250,000 dollars.
-Dollars?
NIGEL: Dollars.
REG: By 4:00?
NIGEL: And make it all in unmarked
twenty-dollar bills.
REG: I don't know if I can do that.
NIGEL: If you ever
want to see that mutt again...
...you'll do exactly what I say.
No police. No mistakes.
REG: You put him on the phone.
I want to talk to him.
[Panting]
NIGEL: He's okay.
REG: All right. Just don't hurt him.
[Flatulence sounds]
-Did you just--
-No. No, I didn't.
It was the dog. 4:00 p.m.
You idiot.
-Where are you going?
-I'm going to the bank.
I told him, didn't I?
Yes. You were superb.
Now, I have to leave. Listen to me.
Are you listening to me?
Yeah, I think.
Don't let him out.
Who?
The dog!
I got it. The dog. I got it. Don't worry.
Don't worry. He's not going anywhere.
-Look at him. He's so handsome.
-Yeah.
Now I know why Brennan
was so gung ho about this.
She's cute.
I wonder if she's the one
doing his math homework.
How 'bout this? "Dear master:
"It's our anniversary.
I see you've raised your cup.
"So I drink a toast to us
and will never leave the seat up."
[Military-style instrumental music]
Be careful, honey.
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
Is he gonna be all right?
He's gonna be all right, isn't he?
Tell me he's going to be all right.
[The Land of Hope and Glory plays]
-Congratulations.
-All right. Thank you.
RUTLEDGE: Take a bite of this one.
There you go.
There he is! That's the thief!
-Who?
-Stay here.
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
MARTHA: Reg! Wait!
We're right behind you!
FBI AGENT 2: There he goes.
NIGEL: Push.
[Nigel gasps and pants loudly]
FBI AGENT 1: You gotta quit smoking, pal.
It's empty! There's no money!
This ain't right.
Johnny said we was in this together.
Why'd he rat me out?
Johnny?
Jonathan Simmons?
Michelangelo. What are you doing here?
Good boy. Stay.
Stay there. It's all right. Yes.
Good boy. Stay.
Stay.
Good boy.
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
REG: No.
MARTHA: Well?
I put it right here. It's gone!
This class's valedictorian
is one in a million.
A champion among canines.
Noblest of a noble breed.
Beethoven, front and center.
CROWD: All right, Beethoven! All right!
All right.
He reminds me of a dog
I knew during the war.
A stalwart pup.
Brave, loyal, true.
And so, without any further ado...
How much more ado
can there possibly be?
...it is my pleasure to introduce
this class's valedictorian...
...and an outstanding trouper, Beethoven!
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
RUTLEDGE: Get organized.
Stop that!
Watch out! Sit! Down!
For gosh sakes, people,
you're acting like animals!
Cease and desist! Look out!
At ease!
You little flea bag!
SIMMONS: Look out! Help!
[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]
[Echoing] Michelangelo!
Where are you, Michelangelo?
Where are you?
[Slow instrumental music]
MADISON: Michelangelo!
BRENNAN: Beethoven!
Where are you going?
Sara, bring me the leash.
SIMMONS: Get your nose out of there!
Dogs, you--
Easy.
SARA: Don't ever run away like that.
BRENNAN: That was weird.
FBI AGENT 2: FBI, Simmons.
Hold it right there.
SIMMONS: You got him?
Well, excellent work, Detectives.
You mean, excellent work, brother.
Right, brother? Ratted you back.
You always were a selfish,
smelly little man.
And I thought we were in this together.
Well, you thought wrong.
Why did you do it?
Do you remember SedgePro 97?
Are you kidding