SARA: Beethoven!
BRENNAN: He's got to be here somewhere.
SARA: Beethoven, where are you?
[Fairground-style instrumental music]
Beethoven!
BRENNAN: Come on, boy.
Beethoven, don't you ever do that again.
[Simmons groans]
SIMMONS: Michelangelo,
that was a stinker.
Egads.
Michelangelo!
Smelly!
I told you not to eat those hot dogs.
Now you smell like beef byproducts.
Appetizer, sir?
Vittles?
Come along. Come along.
Hello? Michelangelo. Michelangelo!
Are you daydreaming? Come along.
Goodness me.
What's gotten into you?
You're not yourself at all.
Come along.
You can just sit there
and use this 15 minutes time-out...
...to think about how
utterly reprehensible...
...your behavior was today.
I'm going to go upstairs,
change my trousers...
...get this doggy grease off me.
Beefy breath!
And I'm canceling your massage.
No! Not on the floor!
[Screaming]
Come on, Beethoven.
-Did you see what he just did?
-No.
SARA: Looks great, Dad.
RICHARD: Thank you, sweetheart.
No, you don't.
BRENNAN: He just picked up my napkin.
SARA: I told you he was smart.
He folded your napkin.
That's beyond smart.
BRENNAN: It's weird.
BETH: You know what's really weird?
I don't think he's drooling anymore.
That's weird.
[Electronic beeping]
Is it Thanksgiving?
MARTHA: Of course not, Maddy. Why?
Because we're all eating together.
Maddy, that's a good one.
But, you know, I think inappropriate.
Say you're sorry, honey.
Sorry, Mom.
MARTHA: I thought it would be nice for us
to have a typical Sedgefood family meal.
Reg, did I tell you
that fur company we picketed closed?
REG: I know. We owned it.
MARTHA: How could we?
It's against everything we believe in.
We just acquired it a few years ago.
I could have had free furs all this time,
and you never told me?
-Martha, you're against fur.
-Yeah, now, but I didn't used to be!
SIMMONS: De-fatted, unsalted,
cholesterol-free...
..anic porcine pot roast.
Was it free-range?
It was a pig, ma'am.
I'm not sure how far they'd go
if they were given free range.
Maybe the semolina,
faux meat patty, Simmons.
SIMMONS: As you wish, ma'am.
Sorry.
Michelangelo, would you be so kind
as to get that napkin?
Michelangelo. Michelangelo, no.
Get back! Get back!
[Screams]
Simmons!
That wasn't the bell, was it?
My God. That's going to leave a mark.
Okay.
One foot in front of the other.
There we go. Steady up.
Don't stand there, for heaven's sake!
Get the pot roast away from him!
He'll break out in hives!
[Melancholic instrumental music]
[Moaning]
Michelangelo...
...I was having a bad dream.
Did I wake you?
Want to come sleep with me?
Come on.
Okay!
Let's see who's done their homework.
How about my obstacle course buddy?
Drop the leash, son.
I don't think that's such a good idea, sir.
Last week, due to...
...circumstances beyond my control...
...I was unable to tell you
all the commands...
...you will be learning in this class.
Commands such as...
...sit.
Down.
Come.
And of course...
...heel.
Therefore,
in order to test your dog's skills...
...my wife, Florence Rutledge,
has lovingly designed...
...the obstacle course...
...which represents real-life situations...
...you and your canine
might actually encounter...
...in real life.
The tunnel...
...one of the more difficult trials
in which only one in 100...
...untrained dogs
can successfully negotiate.
The A-frame, perhaps...
...a dangerous sand dune at the beach.
On a busy summer day.
Kids screaming everywhere.
Can you trust your canine
not to bolt into the crowd...
...and make off with a 3-year-old kid
for lunch?
The double-jump, perhaps...
...your