set.
Director's on set.
Now, in this
scene Fanny...
Frizzy.
What?
The dog's name is Frizzy.
- What did I say?
- Fanny.
Whatever. The dog
gets chased by a snake.
- A lizard.
- I thought we had a snake.
Snakes are too expensive.
Patricia made me re-write it.
What kind of picture
are we making, anyway?
It's a dog picture.
That is not a dog.
I grew up in the projects.
I know a rat when I see one.
- She's a bichon frisй.
- What?
She's like a poodle, but not.
It's a metaphor for life's
struggle against conformity.
Look, I don't care what it
is. Let's just shoot this
so I can put the final nail
in the coffin of my career.
- Sal?
- Yes, Herr director.
Would you get the girly dog and
the snake so we could do this?
Absolutely, sir.
And, sir, I can't wait for you to see
the trick I just taught the lizard.
Very complicated.
I'm amazed I was
able to accomplish it.
- Get the dog.
- Yes, sir.
Who are you?
Are you on payroll?
I'm Eddie. I'm like the
assistant animal trainer.
Good for you.
So, is that it?
Hmm?
Yeah. That's Pete.
Pete?
Pete. Pete the lizard.
You wanna hold him?
No, no, no, no.
Can I see him, though?
Yeah. Sure.
Wow. He's so lizardy.
Yeah.
Pretty good-looking guy.
Hey, I think he likes you.
Oh, no. No.
Why? Why? Oh, the humanity.
What and why
are you yelling?
Frizzy, the bichon frisй,
has been dognapped.
Why?
Hey!
What are you doing?
You stole my cookies!
You're not supposed
to eat the bag.
I guess I don't mind
sharing with a friend.
Hey, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Whoa!
Cut it out.
Hey.
Oh. Hey, hey, hey.
Interesting dog.
He's not mine. Yeah.
He's iust some weird dog.
Oh.
Yeah. I don't even like him.
Hey, Katie! You coming?
Well, whoever's weird
dog it is, I like him.
- Bye.
- Bye. Bye.
That was the first time
she ever talked to me.
Am I dreaming?
"We want $1 million
or the bichon frisй gets it. "
$1 million?
Why would we pay a ransom
when the wussy dog hasn't
shot one frame of film yet?
So we're talking a re-cast?
Marco, set up a casting
call for tomorrow.
- We have to find a new star
for our film. - Yes, ma'am.
Sal, you lost the dog,
cost us a day. You're fired.
Wait, wait.
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
But to tell the truth, it was my
assistant who was in charge of Frizzy.
He's the one
who left the door unlocked.
No. I'm in charge
of the lizard.
I never even met the dog.
I don't train dogs.
You probably orchestrated
the whole thing.
- What? This guy?
- This guy.
Okay. You're fired.
What? Me?
You heard our
fearless producer.
Remove yourself
from the premises immediately.
Sal, set up a casting call
for tomorrow.
We're literally
hemorrhaging money here.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Am I fired? 'Cause you firing
everybody and it make me nervous.
I haven't worked
since Good Tнmes.
What are you
still doing here?
Well, I need to get
my things together.
My lizard's in make-up.
Get your things tomorrow.
For right now,
just get out of my sight!
Hey, Lizard Guy.
Sorry. I know
it wasn't your fault.
You're a ierk.
Why did you lie?
Show biz, Eddie.
It's show biz.
Closing up.
Everybody off the stage, now.
Where are
you from, boy?
What's your name?
Spot? No spots.
Maybe you're like
Abracadabra or Banjo
or Quicksilver.
Or something.
We'll figure it out.
We'll find a good name
for you.
Hopefully one Katie likes.
I can't wait for you
to meet Dad.
Oh!
Oops.
Thanks, boy.
Man, I'm missing the
top 10 video countdown.
Dorks.
Hey, boy.
What? What?
What's the matter?
Wow.
You like this music, huh?
I know what I can name you.
Wolfgang.
You're watchнng classнc performances.
The Cleveland Orchestra pe_ormнng
Beethoyen's Fifth Symphony.
Beethoven.
That's who you are.
Come here, Beethoven.
Good boy.
What the... What?
Who is this?
Hi, Dad. This is Beethoven.
We were making spaghetti.
Oh!
Dad, I know you're mad.
Mad? Yeah, Bill.
Actually, I am mad.
You bring a stray dog