bacon? Quick on set re-write. I like it! Matter of fact, I love it. Okay. We got ourselves a star right there. Dog, welcome to Hollywood. (SCREAMING) (ALL LAUGH) BOY: Loser. Looks like somebody should've kept the training wheels on. (HORN HONKING) Yeah. That's right. Run home to your daddy and mommy. Wait, that's right. You don't have a mommy. Lewis, stop it. Hey, did you have fun with your friends? You're late. I'm sorry. We were on the set. You okay? I'm great. Cut it out! You're such a nerd, Beethoven. BILLY: Hey, Dad, there's that crazy lady. EDDIE: Yup. That's her. Come on, boy. Oh! Uh... Hi. Hi. Why are you on our steps? Oh... I'm trying to write a script. Oh. That's a weird place to do it. Let's go, Beethoven. I'm starving. Thank you. I was hoping maybe I could come in and watch the dog for a bit. Watch the dog? Yeah, get some inspiration. I'm suffering from a little writer's block. Patricia and Stanley are really pressuring me. Can you watch the dog while you eat? Probably. Yes, I can do that. Come on. (BEEPS) How's your kung pow chicken? It's good, thanks. How's your... What is that? Vegetable lasagna. (INHALES) Delicious. Mine is still frozen. Do you want me to put that back in the microwave? No, I kind of like it. It's like a macaroni and cheese Popsicle. Do you guys have microwave dinners every night? No. Sometimes we have pizza. Or burgers. Right? Really a couple of bachelors, huh? We do okay. Oh! No, I'm sure. I can see. LISA: So I hear you named Beethoven. Yeah. He really likes that classical stuff. Cool. Maybe I'll put that in the script. Yeah? If it's okay with you. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Billy, finish licking your food. So... I'm beat. Okay. Big day tomorrow. Right. I'm gonna go to bed. Good night. Do you... Do you have a home? Oh. You're right. I should leave. Do I have to? I have no idea what to write. There is no scene written for tomorrow. I'm gonna be fired. You know, I got fired this week. it seems to lead to promotion in this business. So why don't you just stay here as long as you like? Work. I'm sure you'll come up with something great. Really? Yeah. Hey, Eddie? I just wanted to say thanks. You're nice, Lizard Guy. Thanks. Good night. She thinks you're nice, Lizard Guy. (GROANS IN DISGUST) God. (BARKING) Come on! This is my bed! (LAUGHS) Oh, ha, ha. You think this is funny? This is not funny. it is, actually. And I think I have our scene for tomorrow. Thanks. Kissed me all over my neck! You went to first base on my neck. SAL: This is our target. He answers to Beethoven. Yes. Good name. Shut up. He's big, and he's strong. But soon he will be ours. But what if they don't pay the ransom again? Well, this time they will pay the ransom. Which is why we are waiting for the film to almost be complete before we nab him. The studio thinks he's their next big star, so yes, they will pay the ransom, and I will get my revenge. They better. 'Cause I don't want another dumb dog running around here again. (GROWLING) Take it back. What? Take back what you just said about Frizzy. No. Frizzy loves you! There will not be another dog running around here, whether they pay the ransom or not. What do you mean? They fired me. They humiliated me. So, yes, we will take Beethoven. Yes, they will pay the ransom. But, no, they will never see their darling dog again. (GRUNTS) (SQUEAKING) Hey, hey. Come on, that's not for you. Stay. (SNIFFING) Really? (WHIMPERING) Hey, watch it! There he is. Come on, buddy. Heel, heel, heel. Hey, hey, hey. There's my guy. Hi. Who's a movie star? You are, that's who! How'd you sleep last night? You look great. Hey, what are you feeding him? Is he gaining weight? it look like he's been working out. It shows. If this dog looks tubby on screen, you're out of a job. Guess what we got
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