Not even with a master key.
This calls for a blowtorch...
Cutting with those is such a hassle...
Please...
- So long.
- Goodbye.
Well done, dear...
- Want a ride?
- I'm going the other way.
Suite yourself!
Anyone who doesn't own a car
dreams of buying one.
And anyone with a car
wishes he could sell it,
and refrains from doing so only
because "then you won't have a car!".
Man, more so than any
other living creature,
loves creating unnecessary
difficulties for himself.
This is precisely the way to explain
the wish to have your own car.
The thought that 5,000 Rubals,
just thrown away on fancy wheels,
could poison any happy soul.
- Mom...
- You're here!
I still don't understand what sort of
business trips an insurance salesman has.
What are you waiting for?
Dinner's ready. Wash your hands.
What's making your briefcase so heavy?
Mom, it has all the stuff
I need for my work.
You're scary to look at,
you've become so thin...
These trips are suspicious... I wrote
the newspaper to say milk should be delivered...
Oh - Karchnoy won the chess tournament,
but I was rooting for Tal.
He lost by half a point...
Don't mock your mother!
- Welcome back!
- Thanks.
Eat, and don't slouch.
These trips look suspicious
to others besides me.
Who else?
Dumas' last book was a cookbook.
You're eating onion soup
by the great author Dumas-senior.
- It's good... - These trips look
suspicious to Luba. And she's right.
- She doesn't wish to marry a loser.
- Did she tell you that?
What is it with you?
No, not now. He's only just came back.
No, I think not.
That night, Maxim Podberozivokov
was moving in an unknown direction.
From across this big city,
in an even more unknown direction,
Yuri Detochkin was advancing.
They were walking towards fate.
They were growing closer.
Every investigator must have a hobby,
to which he devotes his free time,
left when he's not pursuing criminals.
For instance, Sherlock Holmes
played the violin,
For Maxim Pod.,
it was amateur acting.
...the development of the popular art
of amateur acting is moving forward
with seven league steps. Finally,
new times are breathing down the neck
of the likes of us, the collectives of amateur
performance. We are being expanded,
with the creation of popular theater,
by forming a select team out of local groups.
Today is a festive day for us.
We're creating a new popular theater!
I hope it will be a sturdy
organism... a solid...
- Comrade Detochkin! Sit down!
- What for?... Hello, Sir.
Pardon...
Between these hospitable walls of our
art house we find all the conditions
for people of various professions to get
acquainted with Melpomene (Muse of Tragedy)
who was, as you know... a Muse...
Our own community theater,
you see, consists of two
collectives of comrades.
Policemen, and, well... chauffeurs.
- I recognized you.
- But it isn't me...
Sure it's you...
You said: "A who is to judge?"
I've never said any such thing
about any judges...
You did, you did...
Wasn't it you who played Chatskov?
Oh... It was.
I completely forgot...
And now the two of us
will be acting in the same play.
- I'm very glad!
- Me too!
Some say, that these popular theaters
will soon replace, and rightly so,
professional theater!
And they are right!
When I worked in the theater...
and I was... Well, nevermind.
And obviously, an actor who isn't
being paid will act with more inspiration!
And besides, an actor should
work somewhere...
You see, it's just not appropriate for him
to spend all his days in the theater, loafing about!
I mean, how much better Yermolova could
have been acting, if by day...
you see... by day she worked...
at the sanding machine.
The calling of the community theater
comes with many responsibilities.
Oh, we played them all in our collectives...
It's best to forget...
Is it not time, my friends,
for us to take a swing at our own,
William... you see, well, Shakespeare.
Let's swing