him
that our college would have
a lot of advantages.
I'd definitely think about it.
Give Harding a close look.
Those big state universities
don't pay as much as they used to.
- Yeah, that's right.
- How much do you weigh?
- Ninety-eight pounds, sir.
- He grew three inches this summer.
He's like a snake
out there in the gridiron.
I see.
Smells like voters in here.
There you go.
- Hi.
- Hi, Stu.
Where's Sam?
You know where he is.
He's in his office.
Stu.
No.
You're not supposed to be in here.
You know that. Nobody is.
Stu, stop! Stu.
If you do this, I'll have
to call upstairs. Honest.
Don't you know who this is?
Don't you read the back part
of the papers?
This is Freddie Jones,
state president of 4-H.
Well, that's nice.
I just wanted to show him where they
hide the bodies when they cool off.
Oh, Sam.
I heard you were
in the building, baby.
Take a good look at this kid.
He'll scare the hell out of you.
- I don't get scared anymore.
- No? Take a good look.
A completely honest kid. He's the one
who found my old man's wallet.
We're taking it in to return it.
If you have that wallet,
you'd better turn it over.
Now, wait a minute.
I figure a 10-percent reward
would be good enough to put
a clean-living kid like Freddie through
his first year of embalming school.
Yeah, yeah. All right.
Mind if I see the wallet?
Seeing is believing, eh, Sam?
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
I don't believe you.
So get out of here.
It's back to the nuthouse, baby.
Well, I don't like this.
Just keep your mouth shut
and learn something.
Well, it's just a little confusing.
Well, you've gotta expect
a little confusion,
especially when you're
causing it yourself.
Yeah, but you make
everybody mad at you.
Yeah, sure. Listen. This place would
melt down into grease if I didn't.
Why do you think they use
a lot of marble in city halls?
Because it doesn't absorb stink.
You don't have to clean it
unless you wanna show off,
and it keeps people worried
because it looks like a bank.
I see Sam brought the good
news upstairs. We're expected.
No, not today. By appointment only.
Have any trouble getting
your motorcycle in the elevator?
What the hell kind of duty
are you supposed to be on?
Stu, go downstairs
and out the front door,
or I've got orders to cool you off.
Hey, I'm bringing the
first double Eagle Scout
in the whole goddamn country,
a local boy, to meet the mayor.
So, what's the matter?
I don't know.
It's okay, Al. Let them in.
Okay.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
And here we have
the mayor's office.
Marble fireplace, sofas,
antique clock.
And here, watch closely. The safe.
And there's the mayor himself.
Well, sonny, what's the latest, huh?
I brought along your
successor, Fred Jones.
He's gonna be mayor on the
Jaycees Government Day next week.
Well, isn't that nice?
The water commissioner told me that
you were touting some football player.
Football player?
Which one of the
Jones boys are you, son?
The last one, sir.
Oh, well, that's good.
You stick to football.
See, Stuart here never
played football, and look at him.
Some people just
don't like to play ball, Dad.
Yeah.
And Sam, you know,
the city treasurer?
He has the idea
that you found my wallet.
For God's sake,
Sam needs a hearing aid.
Stuart?
Stuart? Come here.
I wanna talk to you.
Stu?
Come over here, sonny, will you?
I wanna talk to you. Come.
You see, the way l...
You know, sometimes you
remind me of the little boy.
Listen.
The way I understand it...
...this thing can cut
everything off a little short.
Matter of fact, it can cut it
right down to the nub.
So be a good boy
and give it back, huh?
I am a good boy, Dad.
He's a good boy too.
You're a bad boy.
Look, the wallet was
on the table in my room.
You were in the room.
Now, the wallet is not there
anymore, so where is it?
Well, maybe somebody
put it in the washing machine.
What do you think,