another prestidigitator?
- Get it?
Put it back.
- Stu, magic is boring.
- Yeah.
- You're a jerk.
- Jerk?
Don't you know
any other good words?
Move with the times, boy.
Why don't you leave the kid alone
and just get out of here.
You wanna know what you need?
You need to be educated.
I've had a lifetime of education, pal.
Here, I'll pass along
one of my educations.
What does a steamboat
do in the harbor?
- Tie up.
- What a jerk.
Why don't you go home now, Stu,
and come back some time
when you're in a friendlier mood.
I'm feeling perfectly fine
and friendly.
You know, you're
just like your old man.
You think you can
get away with anything.
Now get out of here, please.
- And don't come back.
- All right. I'm getting out of here.
- Okay?
- Excuse me.
Well.
We got little Lord Fauntleroy here,
and the spectacle is disgusting.
I'd like to apologize.
I apologize for my remarks.
All right.
His Honor would like
to speak to you.
- It's about the wallet.
- Hi, Dad.
Hi, sonny.
What's happening?
Well, where's my wallet?
Oh, yeah.
Sam told me about it.
Well, Sam here, he said...
...you told him.
- That right?
- Yeah.
Oh, well. Maybe it was
somebody else.
I've been talking to a lot of people.
You know how things get around.
- Nice to see you, Dad.
- Nice seeing you.
Look...
...let me try to explain
to you what happened.
You see, l... I put the wrong
money in that wallet by mistake,
you know, out of Sam's safe.
It's not the spending kind.
Nothing that anybody
would wanna use now.
What'll it be?
Okay, I'd like a cup of coffee
with a side of milk and eggs, please.
I like them over easy.
What about you?
That's the way I like them.
Okay.
Could I have a milk, Charlie,
and eggs over easy?
Hocus-pocus, huh?
- I work at the Toucan Club.
- Oh, yeah?
I've heard about that place.
What do you do, sweep?
- Sweep?
- Yeah. You sweep up?
No.
I'm putting together an act.
Aren't you a little young
for that sort of stuff?
I happen to be looking
for an assistant.
Would you, by any chance, know
any friends who might be interested?
Well...
...what about me?
I think I can handle that.
Well, maybe you can.
Ever seen one of these?
No.
Listen.
My mother gave it to me.
- Can you break a hundred?
- No way.
You're crazy. You know that?
You know, after you get off work,
I know where they make popcorn.
And they got
this great new invention.
They call it "the movies."
Well...
...I work till about 10.
Come on by.
My name's Sandra.
Where's the wallet, kid?
It was just a joke.
They were trick handcuffs.
All you had to do
- was flip the little button...
- Hey.
Relax.
I got mad, you know.
You punched me in the nose.
It wasn't even a fair fight to...
- begin with.
Keep it quiet, kid.
We're gonna have a little...
...employment insurance
interview here, kid,
and I don't wanna
shock the neighbors.
- Come on. Come on.
- What's going on?
What's all that junk?
Tools for fixing watches.
- Hey, you remember the time...?
- Hey, Vernon.
Where is it?
Where's what?
You already got all my other stuff.
What else do you want?
You heisted my wallet.
Now, while things are pretty calm
and reasonable,
would be a good time to give it back.
You think this is funny, eh? You think
we're rehearsing a play here, huh?
I'll tell you how funny this is.
It will kill you.
You'll disappear like a canary,
and there'll be a vacant seat
in the glee club.
- I don't know what you're referring to.
- In plain language, I'll kill you.
Understand that?
- Are you kidding, Stu?
- Shut up.
My old man's a crook.
That money is hot.
And if you try to spend any of it
you're gonna get a real-life, close-up,
Technicolor view of enough
FBI men to start a big law firm.
- What?
- Never mind.
Hey.
That's the first I heard of that.
Vernon.
I'm talking to people one at a time
here, so let's not have any heckling.
I'm sorry you're in trouble.
Look, it's not whether you win or