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tried his hand
yet with horror flicks.
We decided it was time.
NOH THEATER
For ages, we've had
a legend about a demon
that attacks and eats people.
Well, it's only a legend.
But about 3 years ago
a headless body was found
and struck fear around here.
Despite the make-up,
the face didn't look very scary.
And the title "Noh Theater"
was horrible for a horror flick!
And why have girls
in a school uniform and a bikini?
Some rumored it must be a comedy.
This scene confirms it.
Ouch!
Ouch!
Not again.
That, too, was a disaster.
Kitano had directed
12 films to date.
Only one has been a box-office hit.
Aiming for a hit...
A new type of period piece!
No guns! Let's use swords.
Swordplay!
This will do the trick.
BLUE RAVEN : NINJA PART 2
Hey, hold it.
Easy now.
Don't kill him.
Throw him into the old well.
Yes, sir.
Let's see how long he'll last.
Is he dead?
Put the lid on.
Is that ninja still alive?
We haven't heard a sound.
He must be dead.
Open it.
It turned out
there was nothing new about it.
How could such a mighty ninja
get caught anyway?
Why was the attack so orderly?
And why wait,
if jumping out the well was so easy?
Just like Zatoichi opening his eyes!
Someone suggested:
why not shoot "Zatoichi 2"?
That was aborted.
In today's movies, CG is a must.
Considering Japan's CG technology,
we should try a sci-fi blockbuster
taking place in a galaxy far, far away.
We all agreed.
THE PROMISED DAY
Yes, this should do.
Yes, sir.
Carry on.
Thank you, sir.
You're still here.
Hey.
Yes?
What's that?
Why is it moving?
Very strange.
There shouldn't be an asteroid there.
I know.
Astronomical Observatory.
Oh, Dr. Nakano.
Yes... We were just talking about that.
What?
An asteroid?
You confirm that?
Intersecting with Earth's orbit?
What? Within a week?
An asteroid is approaching Earth.
A common scenario.
In a Hollywood film,
a hero would appear
and set an H-bomb on the asteroid,
like in a comic book.
But one scientist discovered
a human face on its surface.
Two of these
would become the main characters.
These noodles are terrible.
I won't pay 800 yen for these.
I have an idea.
Let's use this.
Hey, waiter!
What the hell is this?
You serve cockroaches
to your customers?
One moment. I'll call the owner.
Yeah, go get him.
Boss! Boss!
Hey.
Too many leeches like you around.
Hurry. Take it out.
Who are you calling a leech?
Take this, you bastard!
Hurry up.
Bastard!
Give it to him!
What are you doing?
Scumbag!
Get up!
Ready?
Boss!
There seems to be another complaint.
Ladies, something to say?
What's in this soup?
It's delicious.
Cockroaches, of course!
Thank you.
Please come again.
And that's how our story begins.
But it can only go so far
with just two women.
So we decided to throw in some men.
Kichijoji Futoshi
a.k.a. "Masaru"
and his double.
Note: WELCOME TO HOPES
(Higashi-Oizumi Politico-Economical Society)
Let me present some of
HOPES' activities.
Tokyo's Sanya district
is named a UNESCO cultural heritage.
Hanayashiki becomes a national park.
HOPES has donated
500,000 yen for these causes.
200k for
the Kagawa Buried Gold Project.
200k for the preservation
of the Etchu-style loincloth.
300k to construct
Zorge Memorial Hall in Russia.
200k to reinstate
viper-mongoose fighting in Okinawa.
For the rescue of the seal in Tama Tiver
and the humpback whale
stranded off Choshi,
HOPES donated 300k.
The construction of
Japan's Heavy Laborers' Memorial Hall...
The Peace Triangle Project
to connect Kagoshima,
Takeshima Island and Senkaku Isles...
Promoting the independence of Hokkaido...
Returning Okinawa to the US...
A nuclear power plant in Tokyo Bay...
Establishment of the
Miura Shooting Range in LA...
Launching of the Adachi Spy Satellite
to deter crime in Tokyo,
The passing of the Hair Piece Law
to ban fake hair...
That's how HOPES has greatly contributed
to Japan's culture and safety.
Please
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