Slippers!
Lt's not his birthday, it's mine.
They don't fit. That's okay.
Let me see, what's this?
I had a lousy day today. I've turned
42, I fired a director, I beat my kids...
I forgot to beat my kids.
Hold on! Oh!
I'm coming for you, lgor.
You're the one! You're the one!
- Okay.
Help! Help me!
Okay. We got him! I've got him!
We got him!
Down he goes!
- Happy birthday, kiddo!
- Thanks, kiddo.
- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday, Ivan.
- Happy birthday, Pop.
- Happy birthday, Ivan.
Well, this is great.
Only l'm not 43.
You're 43.
- I'm 42, Gloria.
- You were 42 last year.
- You're 43, Pop.
- 43, Pop.
- How do you know?
- I was here last year. I remember!
43 you are, Ivan. I was living here
last year too.
Us too, Ivan. Remember? Last year
we gave you 42 beach balls.
- One was for good luck.
- No.
You look good for your age.
Don't you ever, ever, ever tell me
I look good for my age again, Gloria.
Gloria, Gloria.
Gloria!
- You going out?
- I gotta meet Kreplich...
...go over this director thing.
Is that okay?
Is it okay? Is it okay
that you're going out?
Yeah. Sure. Okay.
You are one beautiful chica there,
honey chili.
So they tell me.
What say I get back,
we get the party lights going?
Pop a little popcorn.
I have always known it
would come to this, Blanche.
Gloria, why are you putting
the knives, forks...
...spoons and party hats
in the refrigerator?
Lt's simple human error.
Don't misinterpret it
or blow it out of proportion...
...because you have career anxieties.
Morris! Morris Finestein!
Morris!
What are you doing here?
- You gotta do the play.
I will not direct your play.
I do not like this play.
I will not have my name
associated with it.
My career is too important.
Don't you understand?
I will not do this play.
I do not like this play.
- Now, that's a firm decision.
I'm begging.
- Want me to beg?
- No.
- I'll beg.
- Ivбn, please!
- I'm on my knees.
- You're embarrassing me.
Ivбn! Okay, l'll think about it.
I'll read it again.
Maybe we can fix the second act, okay?
Just get up. Come on.
Take it easy.
Morris Finestein?
Yes.
- He didn't like your play.
- That's the way he is.
He said to me, "I will not direct
this play! I do not like this play!"
This is not lack of enthusiasm,
this is a decision.
- He changed his mind.
- Now he likes it?
He wants to do it.
I don't understand you.
He personally turned me down.
"I will not do this,
I do not like this play!"
Look, Larry, Morris Finestein does not
like comedy, that's all.
He's an excellent director.
He did a wonderful job with...
My Bridgeport trilogy.
Who's Larry?
- Huh?
- You called me Larry.
- No, I did not.
- You did too.
- I heard you, Daddy.
- Heard it too.
- Me too!
- Yeah, I heard it too.
- Who's having the wedgie veggies?
- Larry is.
My cheese. I love my cheesie.
- Act your age, Bonnie.
- I'm 11.
- Act it.
- How in the hell do you act 11?
That's better.
I hate this stuff.
Why did you bring me here?
Your wife cooks.
Why aren't we eating at your house?
Lt's healthy. You'll live longer.
I have a miserable life.
I don't want to.
Crap. This is growing in front of
my nephew's house in Pound Ridge.
He had it removed,
it was choking the lawn.
Where's Gloria anyway?
Working. She's out working.
My father always makes us
eat shrubbery.
- Yuck!
- Don't say yuck!
Shut up, Geraldo.
Will you shut up?
Give me a break.
I'm having a business meeting
with Mr. Kreplich...
...that could result in my success...
...which would result in paying
your tuitions next year.
Plus piano lessons,
plus your saxophone lessons...
...your clothing, your food,
your orthodonture...
...and your ball games.
Are you getting my point now?
Okay, now, listen to me. Morris
Kotzwinkle is the man I want, period.
He may be a total depressive...
...but he's a major, major talent, period.
Who's Kotzwinkle?
What? Out of the question.
I called you Mr. Kreplich.