Laughter]
Hey, paul.
It looks like they're
glad to see you.
That's cause with
me on your hand,
you can't grab
all the food.
We kill us.
How did you get
so good so fast ?
I pick things up
pretty quickly.
Except
for those
styrofoam
thingies.
You shoved them
under the rug.
Where is gepetto ?
Last time i saw him,
he and paul were
playing poker.
It was kind
of strange --
Paul was cheating
and alf didn't notice.
Well ...
At least they're
not here.
Not now --
If you know
what i mean.
No, i don't know
what you mean.
I know what
you mean.
Oh, baby !
Alf.
Did we spoil
the moment ?
Stop hiding
under the bed.
It's no picnic
under there.
Well, actually it was.
We ate a couple
of "dust bunnies."
Why are you here ?
Ask paul.
It was his idea.
Okay.
Why are you here ?
I heard you,
i heard you.
It's show time.
No, it's bedtime.
I'd like to start
with my impression
of alf.
Me ?
Yeah, you,
fur-Brain.
Yo, wilhelm !
You're going to
have one less
mouth to feed --
I ate your cat.
Ho ho.
Very funny.
Good night.
Good night.
Impression
# 2 --
Someone who ate
kate's cooking --
[Retches]
Paul, that is the
2nd time you have
insulted my cooking.
I'm trying to reason
with a block of wood.
Block of wood ?
Kate, easy.
He's sensitive
about his roots.
Know what this means ?
You're making
a right turn ?
Get out.
This is all
your fault.
Don't blame me.
They wouldn't know talent
if it threw up on their bed.
This is getting
really bizarre.
Oh, baby !
[ Paul ]
if you're looking for
the roast beef, i set it free.
Hi, alf.
I didn't know you
were still awake.
Alf's asleep.
You're
talking
to me.
Ha ha ha ha.
Can't you
pack any
faster ?
Not one-Handed.
Why do we have
to run away ?
Because this
place is a
suburban
sing-Sing.
Hi, alf.What are you doing ?
Running away
from home.
Great.
Tell the
whole world.
Why are you
running away ?
None
of your
business.
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm gonna tell dad.
Dad !
Hey !
What's the idea
of lying to brian
like that ?
Ow !
Don't hit me !
Shut up and keep packing.
Well ...
What if i don't
want to go ?
What if someone
sees me ?
I'll tell them
you're my pet sloth.
Which isn't too far
from the truth.
I don't know why i
stay friends with you.
Because i'm your alter ego.
You're my what ?
I tell you
what to do.
Now, grab that
radio over there.
We'll hock it.
I can't take that.
It's
willie's.
You're not
taking anything.
I think it's time
i took that dummy
away from you.
No !
Back off, or you'll
be sucking splinters.
Alf, paul is
only a toy.
How about if we
replace him with
a papa smurf ?
Why don't we
replace you two
with ozzie and
harriet ?
At least
harriet
could cook.
That's it, mister.
You are kindling.
No, no !
Don't take paul
away from me.
He'll die.
Why don't you and paul
just go in the house ?
We won't bother
you anymore.
I promise.
See how nice
they are ?
Thank you.
That's very kind --
Come on !
I'll teach
you how
to smoke.
But i don't
want to smoke.
It's good
for you.
Really ?
What did you
do that for ?
Don't worry.
I'm getting
psychiatric help.
Good for you,
but what about alf ?
That's what
i meant.
Oh.
I'm calling larry.
He helped alf
last year.
He didn't even
send us a bill.
You get what
you pay for.
Give me some
more nuts.
I don't
want any
more nuts.
[ Paul ]
i do !
That is really annoying.
Good.
Alf, your dummy
is making me very
uncomfortable.
At least you
don't have to
sleep with him.
He's giving me
the creeps.
Ha ha ha ha.
Goodbye !
I think she
likes me.
Talk about a
puppet dictator.
You don't often hear about
the dangers of ventriloquism.
[Knock at door]
Larry, come on in.
Hi, willie,
how are you ?
Hello,
kate.
We appreciate
your coming over.
I had to see
if this dummy
is really as bad
as you say.
Actually, he's worse.
Where is the
patient ?
Watching