my job.
How would you feel
about relocating ?
[ Growl ]
I'll take that
as a "yes."
Tomatoes ?
Thank you.
Over here.
Oregano ?
Thank you.
Where you left it.
Whipped cream ?
Coming at you.
Morning !
Morning, alf.
I smell food.
And lots of it.
What's cooking ?
Your all-Time favorite
sunday breakfast.
Cats benedict ?
No.  French toast,
jello, and spaghetti.
Oh !  Christmas came
early this year !
We felt like we
owed you an apology.
Well, i agree.
What for ?
For neglecting you
and spending all
our time with alfina.
Speaking of alfina,
Where is she ?
She always comes running
when there's food cooking.
Alf, you haven't
seen her, have you ?
Check, please.
What have you done ?
Oh, sure, just assume
that i gave alfina away.
You gave away alfina ?
[ Door bell ]
Saved by the bell.
You stay right
where you are, mister.
This doesn't have the feel
of your typical happy ending.
Hi, can i help you ?
I came to get my dog.
Okay, come on in.
This is her.
This is my dog,
francesca.
Can i have her
back, please ?
Sure.
No, wait.
First, we have to
make sure she's yours.
She's my dog,
all right.
She's brown and
white and shaggy.
She does tricks.
What kind
of tricks ?
The wrong
tricks.
When i tell her
to sit up and beg,
She rolls over
and plays dead.
That's her,
all right.
My dad taught
her that.
He has a weird
sense of humor.
I can't find
alfina anywhere.
Who's alfina ?
We have a
little problem.
Ah ...
Hannah.
Hannah ...
I'm mr. Tanner.
This is my wife,
mrs. Tanner,
Hello.
These are the
tanner siblings,
brian and lynn.
Hi.
Hannah is here
to pick up her dog.
Uh-Oh.
Where
is she ?
Actually, we don't
know where she is ...
Just at the moment.
Oh, no ...
I have to sit down.
Oh, please.
We did find
your dog.
Brian found
your dog.
But she seems to
have wandered off.
Oh, hannah.
Don't cry.
We'll help you
find your dog.
If we can't, i can think
of a suitable replacement.
Alf !
Hold on willie.
I'm trying to find the right
quotation to express my regret.
This one seems apropos.
"To err is human ..."
You got rid
of that dog,
didn't you ?
You're right.
"The buck stops here."
Admiral john poindexter, 1987.
Where is the
dog, alf ?
I thought brian was
getting too attached
To the little mutt.
That's not for
you to decide.
I'm in
charge here.
Oh --
General alexander haig, 1981.
Alf,
What have you
done with the dog ?
Hey, don't worry.
I called that nice lady
who said she was the owner.
She picked alfina
up last night.
Oh, alf --
It was obvious
to anyone,
That woman
never laid eyes on
alfina in her life !
"She sure had me fooled !"
Gary hart, 1987.
[ Knock at door ]
Shut up, you mutt.
[ Knock at door ]
I'm coming !
Keep your pants on.
Oh, it's you.
I'm sorry mrs. Buttonwood.
I hope i'm not disturbing you.
Step inside.  You're
letting all the flies out.
Hey, alfina.
How you doing, girl ?
Mrs. Buttonwood, i'd really
like to have her back.
I'd like to be
christie brinkley.
You learn to
live with it.
But the dog's real
owner came by today.
She would love
to have her back.
She can have
her back.
Great.
For $500.
Five hundred ... ?
Bucks !
You have a
hearing problem ?
But the dog's real
owner is a little girl.
And she misses
her so much.
She was crying
in my living room.
Aw.  Breaks your
heart, doesn't it ?
$500 !
Will you take a check ?
Cash.
Cash.
You can't be too careful.
There's a lot of
slime out there.
I hear you.
I don't have $500
in cash on me.
[ Loud knocking ] ethel !
My ex-Boyfriend -- Not too
smart and jealous to the bone.
Just a minute,
honey.
I'm not dressed yet.
You got a
man in there ?
Maybe there is !
You'd better leave while your
face is still in the front.
But i haven't done anything.
I'll give you a rain check.
[ Loud knocking ]
Climb out
that window.
That's silly !
[ Loud knocking ]
Is there a back door ?
It's all