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tanner !
Alf, you'd
better hide,
While i,
once again,
take the blame.
Thanks willie.
You're a prince.
I'm a king.
Good afternoon, guys.
Does this look
familiar to anyone ?
i'm sorry.
Brian and i
we were just ...
Sort of ...
Here's $20.
$80 dollars ?
I'm putting in
plexiglass this time.
It'll be cheaper for
you in the long run.
Good planning.
I'll see you.
So long,
She sure is
a pretty dog.
Can we keep her ?
Yeah, willie.
Can we, huh ?
I don't know.
I'm sure
she's got an
owner somewhere.
Can't we just keep her
until we find the owner ?
Well, i guess so.
As long as it's
okay with your mom.
Oh, goody, goody,
goody, goody !
I didn't know
you liked dogs.
What's not to like ?
They're loyal,
They hate
cats ...
[ Growl ]
And those who
eat them !
Hi, there.
Gordon shumway.
Nice to meet you !
Interested in
a new buick ?
Nice try.
Wait a minute.
One of these
steaks is missing.
Alf !
I didn't.
Honest !
I looked, but
i didn't touch.
You did so touch !
All right,
i touched.
But i didn't eat !
I'm supposed to believe
one of these steaks
Just got up and
walked away on its own ?
I've seen stranger.
That's it, alf.
No dinner for
you tonight.
But i'm starved !
I've been fasting
since lunch.
Well, i did eat
that pumpkin.
Anyone lose
a steak ?
[ Clears throat ]
Okay, alf.  I'm
sorry i accused you.
Apology accepted.
I'd hate to be
in your paws,
You cattle
rustler !
Bad dog !
Oh, i didn't
mean it.
No, she didn't
mean it.
You're a good
dog, aren't you.
Yes you are.
Come on, pup.
Come on.
[ Mimicking ]
good dog, yes you are.
This is an
outrage !
That dog should
be flogged on
the quarter deck,
Whatever that means.
Alf, she's
just a dog.
She doesn't
know any better.
Ignorance is no excuse.
Ignorance is your
excuse all the time !
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Watch this.
Speak !
Ha, ha.
Okay, sit!
Oh, that
is so cute !
Talk about stupid
pet tricks !
Letterman would have a
field day with this one.
Well, i put up a bunch
of those dumb posters.
I still hope
nobody claims
Alfina ?
Oh, don't you just
hate that name ?
What a good girl.
Canine kiss-Up !
I still think we
should offer a reward
To anyone who
claims that dog.
You don't offer
a reward when
you find a dog.
You offer a reward
when you lose it.
Okay, i'll give you
$5 to lose alfina.
Alf !
Kidding !
I'm a funny alien.
Ha !  Ha !
[ Door bell ]
I know the routine.
[ Mimicking snagglepuss ]
exit, stage right ...
Where is he ?
Where's who ?
My dog,
that's who.
You found him,
didn't you ?
Well, yes we did.
That is to say,
we found a dog.
He's mine !
Where is he ?
It's not a he.
She's a she.
I knew that.
Is that her ?
Don't you
recognize her ?
Of course i do.
Come here dog !
[ Growl ]
She doesn't seem to
be responding to you.
We had a fight !
She'll get over it.
Do you
suppose ...
This is just
a thought ...
That you might be
mistaken about this
being your dog ?
I lost a dog.
You found a dog.
Can we do business
or not ?
I think not.
Here's my address
and phone number,
In case you
change your mind.
[ Yelling ]
have a nice day !
[ Whining sounds ]
Oh !
[ Whining ]
Alf, why did
you do that ?
Well, i could have
licked your hand,
But i didn't think either
of us would enjoy that.
You're right.  I much
prefer a blow to the head.
As you wish, master.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'll read that
when i get up --
In 3 hours.
What are you two doing ?
Alf thinks
he's a dog.
dogs can't
tell time.
Actually we can, but we
have so few appointments,
Why bother ?
Alf, you're not a dog.
Well, i wish
i were.
Dogs get treated better
than aliens around here.
Is nothing sacred ?
Out of my bed !
You come in here, stick your
big snout into everything,
Take over the house,
eat all the food --

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