You guess what they ate.
Oh, alf.
Why are there
little cheese dots
in the living room ?
Well,
i've never heard
that term before,
But i think those
are your children.
Did you do this
to the hole punch ?
That explains the
little cheese dots.
Why was today's newspaper
thrown into the trash ?
I don't know.
Ask kate.
I am kate.
I was hoping you'd be confused
and forget the question.
Alf,
You said the paper
didn't come today.
Oh, what a tangled
web we weave,
When we don't want
our guests to leave.
Kate, willie ...
I'm sorry.
Can someone please
read me the classifieds ?
Sure.
You can't read those.
They're classified.
Ha !Ha !
Here's a
good one --
2 bedroom,
2 bath.
Give me that.
I'll find something.
This looks
good.
What ?
Rib roast is
$1.59 a pound.
Let me
look.
Here's
one.
Cozy 1-Bedroom,
furnished,
wall-To-Wall carpet,
view ...
Pass.
Why ?
It says
"one month's security."
After that,
you'd be in danger.
I think
i'll call
anyway.
What's the
number ?
555-7339.
3723831.
If you keep acting like
this, jody will move out.
Jody wants
to move out.
This is
all news to me.
Jody is a grown woman.
She needs her independence.
That's easy for
you to say.
You know nothing
of the plight
of blind people.
And you do ?
Yes !
The other day, i locked
myself in the closet.
Being blind is very dusty,
and smells like boots.
Jody's survived for
years without us.
She can do
it again.
I think
she wants to
do it again.
Fine.
Think what thou wilst.
Wilst ?
Jody's my pal.
If she goes,
i go.
What are you
saying ?
If she goes,
i go.
Not a lot of
verbal clutter
there.
Now you're just
being ridiculous.
Jody could never take
care of you like we have.
Take care of me ?
Are you implying
that i'm some sort of
house-Bound dilettante ?
No, no, no ...
well, yes.
For your information,
i'll be taking care of her.
Jody needs me like
a hole in the head.
Isn't that good
on your planet ?
Well, the
apartment's available.
What a coincidence.
So am i.
Hey, lucky, i'll
be gone for awhile.
Gee, i've never seen
a cat smile before.
[ Kissing noises ]
This book doesn't
have any words.
It's got zits !
It must be one of those
connect-The-Dot books.
Hi, groceries.
I mean, hi, jody.
Hi, alf.
What are you doing ?
I'm playing with one of
your connect-The-Dot books.
I drew the spaghetti.
You could draw
the meatballs.
Or the red wine.
This is a braille book.
These dots
represent letters.
You rub your fingers over
them to read the book.
Wouldn't that rub the
fur off your fingers ?
What ?
Well, if you had
furry fingers.
You say some of the
strangest things.
It's no big deal.
It doesn't mean
that i'm weird.
I'm just a regular, average
being from your planet.
I know that.
But there is something
i wanted to talk about.
Shoot.
Well, uh ...
I really don't
understand you.
You don't
have a job.
You never
leave the house.
I guess i'd better
tell you the truth.
Please.
I'm old.
I'm real old.
Older than the
gabor sisters.
Well, maybe
not zsa zsa.
Well, you're very spry.
That's because
i've cut my fat intake
to 90% of my diet.
That reminds me.
I'd better start dinner.
No, no, no.
I'll handle dinner.
I'm supposed to
take care of you.
Hello, pizza barge ?
Send over a
large pepperoni.
Alf, we're on
a budget.
Right.  Charge it
to the tanners.
We've imposed on
the tanners enough.
Again, you're right.
Charge it to donald trump.
Hello ?Hello ?
Vegetables again ?
That's not food.
That's the stuff
food eats.
It's what i eat.
What about
real food ?
Like the stuff you hit
with your car in texas ?
I'd like you to try
my spinach lasagna.
Meanwhile, make yourself
useful and set the table.
No problem.
It's taken care of.
I'm here to make
your life easier.
[ Crash ]
First,
i'll sweep up that glass
that spontaneously exploded.
Ow !
Why are there
little hills
in the hallway ?