going to
push this
guilt trip ?
I was thinking 'til
after christmas.
Think again.
While you're in there,
Check on my 3 tv dinners.
Ha ha !
Oh, yeah !
Captions performed by
captions, inc.Los angeles, ca
Captions copyrighted
by alien productions.
All rights reserved.Ha !
Hold still !
I want it even.
Don't cut it
too short.
It'll look like
i have a big nose.
I didn't know you were so
concerned with your appearance.
You think i wake up
looking this good ?
Doorbell.
Hide in the
kitchen, alf.
Beat you to it.
Two dollars, alf.
Pay up.
Two dollars ?
I didn't get my manicure !
Welsher !
Willie !
Kate !
Raquel, jake.
We've been robbed !
Oh, my gosh.
That's terrible.
Don't look at me.
I've got an alibi.
That's right.
Jake was in school.
I wasn't there either, but i
have an alibi for that, too.
That's it !
No more tv this week.
What tv ?
That's right.
They stole that, too.
They took our silverware,
and our vcr,
And our original painting
of dogs playing pool.
Oh.
It was a powerful piece.
I feel even worse about
your circular saw.
My saw was stolen ?
Yes, and trevor was going
to return it tomorrow.
That's what makes
it so funny.
Raquel, did you
call the police ?
We couldn't.
They took our phones.
Well, i just
happen to have one.
That is your phone,
isn't it ?
I have the
receipt.
Just checking.
Thank you.
Hello ?
This is raquel ochmonek,
169 hemdale.
We've been robbed !
How soon can you get here ?
An hour and a half ?
Our art collection could be
back across the border by then.
I feel so
violated.
If there's anything
we can do to help --
Just protect
yourselves.
Lock your doors
and windows.
You never know when somebody
will walk off with your things.
Our phone !
I'll get your phone
back for $3.00.
But that's
negotiable.
Did i miss anything ?
I was under the dryer.
**
[ Doorbell ]
Alf, hide in the kitchen.
I'm going, i'm going !
If i had a nickel for
every time someone said --
It's just jake.
Hey, peewee,
you can reach
the doorknob !
Watch it !
I may be short
but i'm wiry.
I brought your phone back.
That'll be $5.00.
You said $3.00.
I said "negotiable" --
It can go up, too.
It can also go down ...
To nothing.
Nothing, yeah.
That was my
next offer.
Yo, jake-Hammer.
Pull up a chair.
We're playing cards.
Great !I'll make that
$5.00 one way or another.
I never wager more than
i'm willing to lose.
I'll bet willie's car.
You won't believe this !
I just got off the phone
with mrs. Litwak.
They have been robbed, too.
Three robberies
in a month !
That's it !
I'm taking action.
What ?
I'll eat all your valuable food
before somebody steals it.
Is that how you dealt
with crime on melmac ?
That's how we dealt with
everything on melmac.
Alf, doorbell.
Just call me
pavlov's alien.
Raquel, trevor.
The litwaks were robbed !
We heard.
From who ?
Mrs. Litwak.
She's such a busybody.
Let's cut to
the chase, okay ?
We're forming a
neighborhood watch.
Want to be part ?
A neighborhood
watch --
Right.
Speaking of watches,
I hope the one you
lent me was insured.
Maybe we should join
before we lose everything.
The first meeting
is tomorrow, 8 pm.
We'll bring chairs.
You provide refreshments.
Where's the meeting ?
Here.Didn't
we mention that ?
I don't remember
hearing it, do you ?
Maybe we were
out of the room.
It's here,
tomorrow at 8 pm.
Wait !Shouldn't the
meeting be at your place ?
Since it's
your idea.
Please, kate,
I'm too upset to take the
plastic off the furniture.
We don't mind
sitting on plastic.
Try doing
it naked.
Let's compromise.
We'll meet at your place,
And i'll bring
the refreshments.
All right,
but nothing fancy;
A few finger
sandwiches,
Maybe a
coffee cake,
Preferably
decaf.
I'll come over and look
after your teenage daughter,
Your son, and al --
That uh, hairy thing.
What
hairy thing ?
Cat.
Yeah, i momentarily
forgot