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Told you this
marriage was
on the rocks.
No julie,
he hasn't called yet.
How can he when you keep
calling to see if he called ?
Quick !
Hang up !
Dial 911 --
Nine, uno, uno.
I gotta go !
Bye !
Hurry up !
Wait, i don't smell smoke.
Where is it written that all
my emergencies involve fire ?
It's willie
and kate.
They've been
fighting all
night !
Were you listening
outside their door again ?
Inside their door.
Under their bed.
Anyway, i distinctly
heard someone say,
"Get off it, it
isn't alf's fault."
That was
probably mom.
Actually, it was me.
Then they walked out
on each other.
I'm an orphan !
I don't want to
be an orphan.
I saw annie.
Orphans have to
eat gruel,
And tap dance
with mops.
Listen to me.
Mom and dad haven't
abandoned us.
They're having
a little fight,
that's all.
I just hope mom wins, so
i can go on that ski trip.
They won't settle
anything, without
our help.
Our help ?
Please, lynn.
This is the only
family that i've got.
This is the only
family i've got.
Really ?
No wonder you're
always hanging around !
Now, let's see --
How would we solve
this problem on melmac ?
Let me guess --
You'd play
with a cat.
No.That only takes your
mind off your troubles.
It never solves anything.
Wait, i remember.
To get a couple
back together,
We'd recreate the
happiest moment of
their marriage.
I wonder what their
happiest moment was.
The day they
met me ?
Think again.
The day after
they met me !
Keep thinking !
I can't !
My brain hurts !
They're always
talking about
their honeymoon.
Great !
Yeah, that's it !
Let's recreate
their honeymoon.
Where did they go ?
Niagra falls.
Oh, real original.
Well, what
do you think ?
It does look
a little like
the hotel ...
Quick, take
your position.
Alf ?Alf ?
Ring the
bell, willie.
What's going on ?
You said this was
an emergency !
Ring the
bell, willie.
What bell ?
Oh, sorry.
Ring the
bell, willie.
[ Ding ]
You rang ?
What's the
emergency ?
Ring the
bell, kate.
Tell us what the
emergency is !
It will be
Voila !
[ Ding ding ding ]
May i take
your bags ?
What bags ?
Right there.
What are those
doing there ?
Don't ask me.
I just work here.
[ Ding ding ding ]
You must be
mr. & Mrs. Tanner.
Welcome to
niagra falls.
Niagra falls ?
It's alf's way to get
you to stop being mad.
We're not mad
at each other.
Too late. We're
going through
with this.
How do you do ?
I'm fritz von fingerhoff.
On behalf of my staff,
Welcome to the beautiful
duke of the mist hotel.
Duke of the mist ...
It's where we spent
our honeymoon.
Who's fritz
von fingerhoff ?
It beats me.
I just liked the name.
I gather this is
supposed to be a
second honeymoon.
Wrong, a first
Now, imagine --
It's july 11th 1967.
The summer of love.
Outside, is niagra falls.
[ Water noises ]
I feel
the spray.
Sorry.Willie tanner
and kate halligan have
just been married.
Kate's mother, dorothy,
cries buckets and buckets,
Before, during, and
after the ceremony.
How do you know
so much about
our wedding ?
I showed him your
wedding album.
Willie, never
wear tails again.
And kate, ...
Careful !
You were a
lovely bride.
Thank you.
Stretch, show them to
their honeymoon suite.
Right this way.
Thank you,
First, won't you
sign the register.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith ?
That's the same
joke you tried
20 years ago.
The desk clerk didn't
laugh then, either.
We checked
it out.
One more thing ...
I trust you won't be
stealing our towels
and ash trays.
We'd never do a
thing like that !
Ahem ...
I found this in
the basement.
Without further ado,
i present the honeymoon sweet.
Honeymoon sweet ?
Wait a minute.
Isn't someone going
to carry the bride
over the threshold ?
Okay, but if
i get a hernia,
You're looking
at a lawsuit.
Come on

- ...

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