let
the hunchback answer it ?
Excuse me,
i'm sorry to
disturb your
peaceful dominion,
But i'm looking
for a friend
of mine.
He's a rather
short, hairy
fellow.
Has anyone joined
your flock recently ?
Like,
since
breakfast ?
Thank you
very much.
Should i
be wearing
a hat ?
No, i'm fine.
Here's a real
gut buster.
How does the friar
open the door
to the abbey ?
With a monkey.
Ha ha.
Get it ?
Monk-Key.
What's the problem ?
Is this stuff going
over your haloes ?
Alf.
Willie.
How did you find me ?
One of the monks talked,
didn't he.
Never mind, that.
How did you get here ?
Thumb-Nail express.
You hitch-Hiked ?
Easiest ride
i ever got.
Who's going to drive by,
and leave a monk sucking
his exhaust pipe ?
Alf,
your manners.
Absolutely right.
Where are they ?
Willie tanner,
this is ed,
the monk.
Ed, the monk --
Willie tanner.
Willie; ed.
Ed; willie.
I don't know who
the other guy is.
I think it's
cat stevens.
What if they
figure out
you're an alien?
Who are they
going to tell ?
Isn't there
someplace we
can go to talk ?
It's difficult
to discuss
certain
details...
This is my
home, now.
These brothers are like
sisters to me.
Let it fly.
All right.
I did a lot of
thinking on the
drive up here.
I've never told
another living
soul
What i'm about
to tell you.
And you.
And you.
And, of course, you.
I know you're not
crazy about my stories,
But i think you'll
find this one
poignant;
And not without
a certain
relevance.
Brace
yourself,
boys.
The sermon's
coming early
this week.
When i was growing up,
i thought my mother was
The most beautiful
woman that ever lived.
I guess every boy
feels that way
about his mom,
But i wasn't the
only one who thought
that about my mother.
Look here.
Huh ?
Who's the
goofy-Looking kid ?
That's me.
The years have been
kind to you, willie.
Very kind.
May i continue
with my story ?
Please --
And put that away.
One night, when i
was about 6, or so --
I was walking by
my mother's room.
I saw her sitting at
her dressing table.
I saw her reach up
and take off her hair.
I was
destroyed.
Not because she
wore a wig --
I didn't mind that --
It was because she
didn't tell me.
This brings me to
the meaningful part.
And not a moment too soon --
It's almost time for vespers.
I hope
that means
"cookies."
I'm trying to explain
why your parents didn't
tell you
They were married
before you were born.
Continue, my child.
They didn't want
their son to think
That they were
anything less
than perfect.
That's the way
parents are.
I know i feel
that way about
brian and lynn.
Someday, when you have
kids of your own ...
Uh uh uh uh,
I won't be having kids.
Monks give up
more than talking.
Right, eddie ?
Is it me,
Or are those guys
a bunch of stiffs ?
Look, i'm a
convertible.
Face it, alf,
You're not
monk material.
Yes, i am.
They showed me
the qualifications.
Sloth, greed,
gluttony ...
Those are the
7 deadly sins.
I thought the
7 deadly sins
were those guys
Who lived in
the forest
with snow white.
Those are the
7 dwarfs.
We prefer the term
"little people."
Come on home, alf.
We miss you.
Nobody cares
about your past.
Gee, i don't know.
Tonight's my turn to
bang the dinner gong.
Alf.
Okay, you got a deal.
You came all this
way to get me.
If you want me
back so badly,
You deserve me.
Thanks, alf.
Just give me a second
To say goodbye, okay ?
Yo, i'm leaving.
[ Monks cheer ]
I thought this was
a silent order.
You know, mom & dad --
You'd like the tanners.
They care about me.
Even when i do
something stupid,
Like stomp grapes
in the bathtub.
Good night, alf.
We're glad to
have you home.
Can i have
a cookie ?
They're not cookies.
They're vespers.
And yes,
you may.
Alf, why are there purple
footprints in the bathroom ?
Uhhh --
Have a vesper, kate.
We don't want any.
I'll
have a
couple.
Willie, gluttony