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Settle for
a kiss ?
[Knock at door]
Hey, tanner.
Come on in,
Did you see anyone
take some pumpkin pies
from our back porch ?
How's raquel ?
She claims the spaceman
called her on the tv,
And told her to
take art lessons.
Call that normal ?
At least she's happy.
That's good news.
Sorry about
those pies.
We're going out
to dinner, anyway.
Want me to bring you
back a corn dog ?
No, thanks.
See you later.
Alf !
Did somebody
mention corn dogs ?
Captions performed by
captions, inc.Los angeles, ca
Captions copyrighted
by alien productions.
All rights reserved.Get a load
of this --
A stamp
some guy walking
on the moon.
It was one
of mankind's
Big deal !
I was the first melmacian to
wash my hands before eating.
Nobody put me
on a stamp.
Maybe you should
have used soap.
Ha. Ha.
Hi, guys.
You're home --
What did you
bring me ?
That's the same thing
you brought me yesterday.
I left your dinner
in the oven, hon.
Unguarded ?
You wouldn't
have liked it --
The veal was
nearly inedible.
Alf !
Next time, try an
overnight marinade.
I'll make you
a sandwich.
If there's any
bread left !
I think there's
half a raisin bagel.
How much do you want
to give to the monks ?
What monks ?
We got an appeal from
the brothers of
the peaceful dominion.
That's my checkbook !
Yeah, they're
your checks.
Don't worry, i'm
using your signature.
I've even mastered
that effeminate loop
on your capital "t".
As long as
these checks
are in my name,
I'll decide who
the money goes
And my loops are
not effeminate --
They're decorative !
Well --
We're in a mood.
Hold still.
I don't want
to stick you.
You look great --
Sort of like
the pope's son.
I'm in a play
at school.
I'm friar tuck --
One of robin hood's
merry men.
No kidding !
We had a robin hood
on melmac.
Did he take from the rich
and give to the poor ?
No, he just robbed the
hoods off people's cars.
Oh !
Brian, please.
Alf, would you
leave us alone.
Fine !I'll
go bother lynn.
What's all
this stuff ?
It's a project
for sociology.
I'm putting together
our family tree.
Who chopped it down ?
Was it me, again ?
Alf, why don't you
make a family tree ?
Yeah, it's
a fun way to
remember your
Well, i don't
remember much.
My father was always
breaking things,
And my mother
sat around
eating all day.
It's amazing you
turned out so well.
Thanks, but sometimes i do
blow my nose on the wrong towel.
I see why your
spaceship crashed --
You were over
the weight limit
for luggage.
Well, why didn't
you ask for help ?
I did.
You said, "no."
If you had only used
the magic word "please" ...
This is all
i need for
my family tree.
You can
put the
boxes back.
Forget it !
What's in these things ?
These boxes contain
the remnants of a
vanished civilization.
A people, whose
culture and intellect
Were unsurpassed in
the known universe.
Dashboard dice ?
Dashboard ?
What a great
place for those !
Kate, guess
where these
are going ?
In the garbage.
No --
That's where
i found them.
Who are these
people ?
That's my 4th grade class.
I'm the one eating paste.
I see you have
a picture of
your thumb.
I've made that
mistake, myself.
What mistake ?
I collect pictures
of my thumb.
Look --
Here's a picture
of my thumb
at the beach.
Here's one
of my thumb
at the prom.
Wait --
That's my toe.
Are these
your parents ?
Oh, yeah.
That's the day
they were married.
See, mom's feeding dad a
piece of the wedding cat.
You have your
dad's nose.
And your
Well, noses run
in my family.
Ha ha ha.
Oh, i kill me.
Wait a minute ...
This can't be right.
What's the
matter ?
According to this --
My parents were married
on twangle the 12th,
But i wasn't born until
the 28th of nathinganger.

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