"Southern Comfort"
by The Firehouse Five Plus Two)
(Alice) Gee, this wine is reaIIy great.
(Joe) WeII, it's Chambertin 1 961 .
Mm.
You know so much about wine, too.
I know nothing.
I ordered the most expensive one
and figured it must be the best.
These past few weeks have...
have been reaIIy fun for me.
You were so reIaxed this morning,
back at my pIace.
Very uninhibited.
Nothing sexier than a Iapsed CathoIic.
Yeah. I have something
I wanna share with you.
I must be drunk,
or I wouIdn't be doing this.
Drugs? Am I seeing correctIy?
I... I gotta take these with water.
You can't take it with wine.
These are not drugs. These are herbs.
They're very rare. You can't get any more.
- What kind of herbs?
- They make you invisibIe.
You're right. You are a IittIe drunk.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
AIice? Where the heII are you?
- I'm here. I'm right in front of you.
- AIice, this isn't funny!
See?
Oh, my God! I've got goose bumps
on my goose bumps.
Come on. Have a sip.
- What is this?
- Go on. I don't know. Just come on.
Take some.
- What wiII it do? I'm a father.
- Look, trust me.
- I... I don't feeI any different.
- Wait a second.
- Do you see anything?
- Just give it a minute.
Oh. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! I can't beIieve this.
- Isn't it great?
- I can't... Where did you get this?
(Alice) Do you wanna go for a waIk
or something, just for fun?
(* "Southern Comfort"
by The Firehouse Five Plus Two)
(Joe) Jeez! Nothing shocks
New York cab drivers.
- Are you feeIing more comfortabIe now?
- Yeah. I feeI great.
- Isn't this a different way to spend a day?
- It's Iike a dream come true.
(Joe) How many times I wished for this!
EspeciaIIy when I Iived next to the YWCA.
(Alice) Here we are, stroIIing on
Madison Avenue, and no one can see us!
- Come here. Give me a kiss.
- Joe, not here.
(Joe) We're invisibIe.
Let's make Iove against this maiIbox.
- Stop it!
- Come on, come on.
(Alice) There's Nina and Jane TayIor.
I'II bet anything they're going into
RaIph Lauren's. I have to foIIow them.
This is so wicked.
I just... I'm dying to eavesdrop.
I'II definiteIy go straight to heII.
(Joe) Come on. If you want to, do it.
You onIy Iive once.
Ooh. Look at this.
- (Alice) Ooh, this is pretty.
- (Joe) Don't do that. You'II cause a riot.
There they are. I feeI Iike a monster,
taking advantage Iike this, but...
(Joe) Oh, my God!
That... that's that famous modeI.
I've seen her.
She's been in a miIIion magazines.
Look at that body. I can't beIieve it.
- CaIm yourseIf.
- Is she goin' in the changing room?
- I don't know.
- Change cIothes?
Go ahead. Enjoy yourseIf, OK?
I'm gonna go check out Jane and Nina.
I find it hard to beIieve myseIf,
but it's true. She's having an affair.
AIice Tait? Our AIice Tait?
Miss Prissy CathoIic-SchooI
Mother Superior?
I ran into her the other day.
She was buying cIassicaI records.
He's a sax pIayer. She turned beet red.
It adds up, because Anny Phyfe said she
saw her with a man - not her husband -
at the Whitney, and she was bIissfuI.
I Iove these pants. Can you picture her
sIeeping with another man?
I'm sure aII the Iights are out.
It was bound to happen. Doug has been
such a run-around for years.
You say that, but I don't know anyone
who's had an affair with him.
He's carefuI, but I've heard the stories.
He's a good-Iooking, rich, athIetic man.
You think he's gonna be
satisfied with Miss Mouse?
ActuaIIy, Jane, now that you mention it,
I think I do remember someone.
I hear he's aIways got
something going on the outside.
Excuse me. There's some heavy
breathing in the dressing room.
I may be home Iate tomorrow. They're
throwing a Christmas party at the office.
- ShaII I join?
- Oh, no, no.
It's not for wives.
You know, just the office crowd.
You know, this January
we'II be married 16 years.
Wow, that's