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Алиса здесь больше не живет

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I'm so sorry. Maybe you just stumbled.
- Thank you very much, sir.
- Good luck on your cheerleading.
I'd rather take a whipping
than mend fences.
Maybe it would be easier
to get an electric fence.
Not really.
They'd be out in about a week, anyway.
They smell the apples over there
and get wilder than a guinea.
- What does?
- The cows.
- Don't ever try and understand a cow.
- Okay.
The only thing dumber than a cow
is a chicken.
Turkeys are worse.
You know what a little turkey does
when it rains?
Put their head back
and open up their mouths and drown.
- They do not.
- They do, too.
My grandmother lost about 200 of them
once in one rainstorm.
Could I touch your beard?
It's soft.
- Your own brother taught you how to kiss?
- I don't mean he demonstrated.
He told me that
the worst thing that can happen...
is if a boy feels like he's put his lips
in a bowl of wet oatmeal.
At least he said "lips."
So the most important thing
to remember before you kiss...
is to wipe your mouth real good
and keep your lips together...
so he doesn't kiss your teeth.
We went to see
The Postman Always Rings Twice.
And there was this big close-up of...
What's her name?
Lana Turner and John Garfield, right?
They're coming together.
Big dramatic moment.
At last, they're going to kiss.
The music's playing. It's very dramatic.
Just as they come together,
they both open their mouths.
I thought, "My God, don't they know
how to kiss? What's wrong with them?"
I turned and looked at my brother
to see what he was going to say.
He didn't move,
he was just looking at screen.
He didn't say anything for three weeks.
Then all of a sudden one day, he says:
"Well, Al, I've been thinking."
- AI?
- Yes, he always called me Al.
"I think maybe you're supposed to
part your lips a little bit when you kiss."
God bless him.
If not, I had my work cut out for me.
So anyway, and then...
we decided we wanted to go
into show business from the movies.
Why did you leave?
I got married, and Donald
wanted to live in his hometown.
I wanted to go on singing.
He said, "No wife of mine
is going to sing in a saloon."
I said, "Yes, master." I kind of liked that.
- You liked it?
- It was like, you know...
my idea of a man: Strong and dominating.
I'll show you our act.
This is what we used to do.
I figure, I don't know,
the bubble dancer didn't show up.
So they called my brother and I.
My brother would enter and walk onstage,
and I'd be behind him...
making the same moves,
so that you couldn't see me from the front.
And then he'd get out and say,
"Usually I do an act with my sister...
"but she didn't show up today."
And then I would...
Then they would laugh again.
- So we'd do it on the other side, right?
- That's a hell of an act.
That's what we did.
That was my start in show business.
- And then...
- Tough act to follow.
We never got paid for it.
I found out years later...
that people got paid
for being in show business.
When I was 19, I got a job
in this really nice hotel in Monterey.
I would play the piano and sing.
I really liked it there.
That's why I want to go back
and pick up where I left off.
- Which do you want?
- What do you mean?
Do you want to go home,
or do you want to sing?
I want to do both. Can't I have everything?
- You think they're the same?
- You mean, they're not?
I don't know. That was a while ago.
I have an idea, fella.
I've been getting one myself.
- An idea?
- Yeah. What's yours?
- I have to show it to you.
- What?
If you come with me into the other room,
I'll show you my idea...
if you'll show me yours.
Shoot the dog!
Didn't you get it? I'll tell it to you.
In the beginning, the guy's saying:
"What do you want me
to do with the gun?" He doesn't tell him.
Then the guy says, "Shoot the dog."
He says, "Shoot the dog."
Wait a minute.
Do you see why he said shoot the dog?
Hi, what are you two up to?
- We're gonna go fishing by this...
Алиса здесь больше не живет Алиса здесь больше не живет

Читайте также:
- текст Ты, живущий на английском
- текст Собачье сердце на английском
- текст Команда мечты на английском
- текст Фанаты на английском
- текст Анна Каренина на английском

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